Family

I am an only child. There I said it loud and clear. Now go on think back to all the readings you might have on this blog - do I sound selfish, bratty, aggressive, lonely, or even spoiled rotten? I can deny it, but you would want to talk to my mom or dad first, wouldn't you? I get it, it’s the bad reputation that we ‘only children’ have. But from my perceptive, family comes in all shapes and sizes. I recall the first time I saw the Pride and Prejudice I wondered quite extensively how cool it might be to be in a family of 5 sisters - the Bennet sisters seemed like the epitome of sisterly love and it wasn't until I actually read the book that the various layers of book made it clear, or I probably became less romantic. Did I get lonely during my childhood days - yes, there were those days. But I learned to entertain myself. Did I get completely pampered – no I don’t think so. Our house had the “majority rule” policy, so that for many decisions if mom and dad joined forces I had no way of getting away!

Now that I am having a second, I think a lot about how the family dynamics would change when the little angel arrives. Already, my husband complains how I spoil Kochunni – no not with toys but sheer hugging and cuddling every day. In my mind though this is the only time – in a few years he probably would want to walk away from it all. Then all I have would be memories and I want a treasure-trove of them. But back again to family, I know of many sisters, many brothers and many brothers and sisters – but I haven’t been part of that – that is not until a few weeks from now. In a few weeks time my only child will be first born, “dethroned” to accommodate the younger child. I wonder about his reactions from awe & curiosity to jealously and even anger. And what about the younger child? Would he complain that he never received the one-on-one attention or about the fact that he always be the baby of the family?

What about the dynamics of having two kids at home. We are already wrestling with the idea of daycare, school and other costs. I cannot even comprehend how the emotional and physical ride might be? I think I am mentally prepared to have the second baby, but feelings of doubt often do creep up. What especially worries me is when I hear stories about how much kids fight and don't get along with each other and when that flows into their adulthood. But even with a multitude of questions, one single thought emerges – family is an ever-growing constant. By birth or by choice the family grows and multiplies but it is still the one constant in most of our lives.

So I realize that all I can promise my little ones is to provide a “home” full of fights and fairness, laughter and sadness, ups and downs – a place where commitment to family and love will supersede other choices.

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~ Dodie Smith

Random (cheesy) updates! :)

Finally my genes seeping through ...


A voracious reader in the making - lounging on the chair, covered in my favorite blanket lost in the world of words (so what, if he is just looking at pictures - its the pose that matters!)













I was in for a surprise on Thursday as I picked up my voice mail at my office phone. The receptionist informed me that I had some flowers that I could pick up, and believe me that was out of the blue, so I listened to the message again. As I went down to get the flowers my colleagues teased me about it and I blushed like a new bride. Yes indeed there were flowers waiting for me - a beautiful bouquet of red roses and daisies from my husband and he was thoughtful enough to add Kochunni's and baby's name as well to the card.

Thank you, my dear. This just made my day! X0X0!



Happy Valentine's Day!

Pregnancy so far ...

So after the scare a few months ago, pregnancy is going well currently (kala tikka). It is actually fun - I can feel the baby move around quite a bit and the kicks are quite a tickle. I often try to grab Kochunni’s hands when the baby is moving to let him feel the baby but so far haven’t been very successful; maybe a couple of times but I am not sure if Kochunni has really felt it, since the kicks are still so light. Sometimes I look at my ever growing tummy to see if I can see the little jabs but that hasn’t happened either. I am sure all in good time.

Best thing of all, I am already looking forward to my time off for maternity. Last time around this was a great time of bonding, sleeping, movies, books and my venture into the blog world. You can tell, I am glossing over the nightly feeds, diaper changes, the advent of colic around evening and many such not so pleasant memories. But by far the good times outweigh the troubles. I am sure I am would be singing a different tune post-baby, so writing this post to jot down my feelings today to remind me that everything is a phase.

I hope to enjoy the cuddles, the gurgles and one more ride into mommy-hood! Wish me luck!

Where are we?

So it’s been a week of rain, strong winds, and then a tornado warning! There have been flooding on local streets and days that look like evenings. The sun hasn't been visible and being stuck up in house all day, does makes us all pretty dull. And to think that this is supposedly sunny California!?!



Our garden is overgrown with weeds, my jasmine plant stooped over due to the high winds, but a ray of hope - the tulips we planted right before Christmas are sprouting.



Let’s hope spring is not far away!

The stick figures

As I read UTBT's post a few days ago about the stages of growth in a kids speech, art, music – their development; I lamented about Kochunni still in the scribbles phase. Of course he was coloring (inside the lines even, mostly) on the coloring sheets he was given, but drawing on his own was still scribbles – just lines going all over the white board or paper. He would claim it was the fish, the lion or whatever his fancy was at that moment, and I would agree that it was nice. Sometimes he would ask me to draw and I would draw a car, the sun, the jeep, or even the birds for him, hoping eventually he will get the hang of things. Today that milestone happened.

Kochunni was at home today, and since I was working I asked him about going out for a walk – maybe ride the bike to spend some time and energy. It was sunny but still cold, so I bundled him up. But then Ammamma (grandma) and Muthu (grandpa) were not ready yet. So I asked him to wait for them. As he walked by the white board, he picked up the red colored pen lying on the shelf and started to draw. First a circle and then two lines out and then two dots. He turned around and claimed it was Achan (daddy). Mom and I had a wide grin as we realized he just scribbled his first stick figure. So we encouraged him. He went on to draw himself and then went back to draw some “meesha” (mustache) for his dad. When I asked him where I am, he set out to draw me – and, this is a big thing, he drew the baby inside me. Now of course, some of our hands might be coming out of the head and there are just two strands of hair everyone is sprouting, and I seem to have a blob of hair on top of my head – but eh the family picture is drawn. Here it is, right to left - Achan (daddy), himself and then me with the baby.



After he came back from his walk he wanted to draw again, so after I took a snap he cleaned the white board. This time around instead of the family came the crow eating lunch on a tree, with water flowing beneath for the crow to have a drink after lunch. The drawing is still present on the white board with strict instructions to all of us to not erase it – not even when he is sleeping. He wants this to be a surprise for daddy when he comes home from work. For now, he is back to playing with his toy trains but I wanted to record his first works of art for posterity sake.


I guess I should have been patient, but that is an area that I still need to develop - we parents are always in a rush. I think back to Kochunni's first year and how many of his milestones just seemed to happen when the time was right and this time again he did it. I am not sure if this was a coincidence or some superior power working His magic, in some ways telling me not to rush things but let them be, to provide the space for the little one to grow and grow-up he shall and when I look back to this day - it would all seemed to have gone through all too very quickly!

Indoor activities

Winter days are a challenge when you have a toddler at home. Over time though 'we' have up with some little ideas to spend a few hours of fun together. I say 'we' because some of these are things that Kochunni has helped carve along the way.

• Role Playing – Kochunni becomes the teacher, while we become his students. Of course it’s a good way to get Kochunni to talk about his activities at school and listen to him sing new songs. A win-win situation for everyone. Sometimes another good game is to play with the doctor set. Kochunni usually recalls all the process from the last doctor visit even asking us to breathe in & out as he checks us out with his stethoscope.


• Little Helper – Some days when Kochunni is in a good mood he turns out be really good helper. We make him sit on the platform and I let him wash the vegetables or the rice. When we make some chappati he sits on the other end dishing out instructions on how big and fluffy it will and should get. Sometimes he plays with the dough and even ends up making a small chappati for himself


• Riding the bike – This is something my mom came up with - when the days are rather cold, we park the cars outside and let Kochunni ride the bike in the garage – he runs in circles and sometimes makes his Ammamma (grandma) run after him. Though heaven forbid she should ever catch him!


• Scavenger hunt – Another hit at the house is the box of scavenger hunt cards that I bought as a return gift for Kochunni’s first year party and I had one left over. When I opened it when he was still 2 and ½ all he wanted was to play (read bend) the cards so I had to put them away. But recently it has become a fun activity. Some of the items are so easy to understand that he doesn’t need my help to pick a red colored object or a shoe, while others I just need to read the card out to him. He is also the judge of what rest of the family picks out and though I try to sway his opinion in the right direction he often has the final word on who got all the correct items.


• Misc - Music masti is also a fun way to get the little guy to shake his butt. Sometimes making him tell a story is a great way to see how his mind works. Another easy activity is painting especially finger painting or stamping.
  

With all of these one thing that stands out is the fact that Kochunni gets distracted very easily. Within a few minutes of the game (max about 15 minutes) he decides he is done with the game even if we are only through the middle of it. I do hope this attitude changes in due course. This is another reason that most common games like Memory or Candy Land only last through one game, and that too after weeks of inactivity.

So what about you guys - how do you get your toddler to have fun during sometimes deary days of winter?

Movie Time

I probably watched a record number of movies over the last two weeks of 2009 than compared to the whole year. So much so that now every time I would switch on the movie Kochunni would stop playing with his cars and run shouting “Samayam Aayee” (Its time) and sit down cross-legged on the floor, with a wicked grin lighting up his face. Then when the movie would not start immediately but rather the credits would start to roll, he would impatiently look at me as if I did something wrong with the DVD.

3 Idiots turned out to be a great movie, equal doses of laughter and sadness, wonderfully placed songs, good acting and overall a great performance. The climax though a little melodramatic worked for the movie and I am eagerly waiting to watch the movie again on DVD at home. Even though the movie has a lot of well-placed humor it wasn’t a kid friendly movie by any measure and a couple of scenes were probably downright inappropriate for kids, so my two cents if you can leave the kids behind take that option.

Whats your Rashee turned out to be somewhat better than expected, probably because our expectations were lower. Priyanka actually pulled off her 12 roles with some of them executed especially well, though Harman was disappointing. But worst of all was the climax which was a total let down, which is I think the reason reason why the movie so unsuccessful, of course having 13 songs also doesn’t help unless all of them are equally great numbers either. My two cents, keep this movie for a lazy afternoon and if you have some Gujju friends call them over for some time pass!

Rocket Singh - Salesman of the Year was the movie we watched on New Year’s Eve rather late into the night. Turns out Ranbir Kapoor is – an absolutely great performer, he does well as the underdog that as audience we want to cheer him along though not for a moment do we feel that he is unreal. The story is executed well from all points of view, the office politics –the bickering colleagues over sales quota to party nights when the team hits the numbers ; as well as the little love story of the main protagonist. The supporting characters from the receptionist, the server guy, the grandfather do their part very well and you see enough of their daily struggles that it draws you into the movie even more. Then again, it’s a slow running movie, but if you are patient you are duly rewarded with a good movie.

Twenty Ten

So would you call this year Twenty Ten or Two Thousand and ten? Would it be bad grammer or as much of the English language over the long run one wouldn't care one way or another. After all the epic question from one of my all time favourite profesors of Botany "Yeh Do (pronounced as Du) hota hai, aur Go (pronounced go) .... yeh kasie?? Do Du hai to Go GU kyon nahin ho sakta???" has never been resolved (watch the clip here). Then again it matters not what you call the year for afterall "... that which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet." So here's wishing you all a boutiful year!

Happy New Year!

X-Mas Time!

Christmas weekend resulted in a trip to Dallas and spending time with family and friends. Kochunni was anxious this year to get "shoes that light up" from Santa, though luckily he did not seem to care that we will not be at our home for Santa to come. We made sure to buy the shoes and took it with us to Dallas. Rest of the christmas shopping this year turned out to be easy with online shopping.

Christmas eve had bright snowflakes hitting the ground that by evening turned the whole area into a white Christmas. After some nice dinner we put the kids to sleep and packed up all the gifts and put them under the tree. The older kids woke up early and woke up Kochunni asking him to come check out the treasures that Santa had left behind. Everyone got what they had wished for and then some more. It turned out to be a great day to stay indoors, eat wonderful food and watch a movie. This weekend seemed like the back-to-back movie outing that started out with 3 Idiots at the theater, Wake up Sid, Whats your Rashee and all the home movies.

We also went on a photo session for the kids and as it turns out my son is a teenager already when it comes to photo sessions – he wouldn’t look when asked to, no smiles and make absurd faces that practically made half of the photos useless. But we managed and bought a whole slew of pictures that now I need to figure where to hang them.

In all, a great Christmas weekend.

Merry Christmas!

The Amnio Test

The last post is something that I had mentally written almost a month ago but never got around to post it. First of course like many folks I waited for the crucial first trimester to tide over and then as I started to figure out a cool way to announce it the world but as I realized that it’s now or never, I had my 2nd trimester blood screen and it came back with some markers for down syndrome and that had me heart on red-alert.

It was dreadful - sleepless nights and days as a little hope rises from your heart the mind just crushes it down like someone swatting a bug.
The day I got the call from the doctor, I was actually driving back from work. I think I talked to her intelligently , just asking facts and figures. But when I hung up, the enormity of the finding hit me and I gave way for tears. I held myself as much as I could as I quickly could and picked up Kochunni from daycare. As I sat back in the car, I guess the little fella figured out something was amiss. Kochunni started to ask about why I was upset, but I would not answer. When we got home I literally ran to the bathroom and gave way to the tears. Minutes later, I told my parents who were obviously starting to worry with my strange behavior. Kochunni seemed to realize something was off and started to cry himself and kept asking why are your crying Amma. I had to help myself at that point and told him that I will not cry, but he knew that something was wrong with the baby. So I tried to just call it off as a little owie for the baby.

The doctor had suggested to do the Amniocentesis test – it’s a test where they take the fluids using a large needle from your amniotic sac and culture the cells to check if there are any chromosomal or genetic deficit. I knew it was an invasive procedure so I was leaning towards a level 2 ultrasound, which according to the doctor could only check for soft markers and could not be conclusive either way. Since it was right before the Thanksgiving holidays, I scheduled appointment for the Ultrasound the week after and tried to relax.

The internet always as omnipresent source I used it to read about the amnio test and what other folks discussed on discussion boards about it. It was a hard decision, and I wavered a lot from thinking 'Lets do it to No way'! But I was finally convinced on doing the Amnio because logically speaking this procedure provides answers with an almost 100% accuracy plus has little chance of complications. But even after the decision was made one doesn’t think logically or behave logically most of the time. So prayers and fears were part of my nights and days.

We met with the genetic counselor who talked about what I had already read and answered our questions patiently, and then we went for the ultrasound. I had assumed that even when we agree for the amnio it would be done on a later day, but the counselor told us they can do it both together. And so first the technician came in and did the ultrasound. My heart soared when I saw the little one, moving around in the tiny little space – super cute. The technician continued with many measurements and finally the doctor arrived for the procedure.

The procedure itself was not bad, they numbed the little section and watched the baby via ultrasound the whole time to ensure nothing was amiss. I was nervous and held Amma's hand throughout the whole thing looking away from the procedure and mentally thinking about good things and sending fervent prayers. It was over in a matter of minutes and the doctor joking asked me to make my husband work as I took rest for a day or two at least. I called my boss and I took rest of the day and the next day off from work. I took rest with Amma fussing over me. She even made me sleep with her just so that Kochunni doesn’t kick me or something at night. The next couple of days were easier as I was more worried about having a miscarriage that I did not think about the results, but as Monday dawned that thought could not be put further away. There seemed to be a unspoken truce within the family that none of us talked about it at home. The only person who used to ask "how the baby was doing" was Kochunni and I would tell him let’s just pray to the Guruvayoorappan to keep the baby safe and he religiously would mention it to Him after every bath.

Exactly a week later, the office called. My heart skipped a beat as I was driving to work and noticed a new number on my cell phone. I picked it up, and as the counselor told me the news that the baby is fine, no down syndrome, no spinal bifida it felt as if a weight had been lifted. I could not stop smiling as I told the lady that she just made my day. I quickly called home and passed the news to husband and my parents who were equally elated.

I did not share the news about the blood results or amnio to anyone early on – only two people apart from parents and my husband knew about it. One was my boss and second was my cousin who is a nurse by profession knew. Everyone who knew was indeed supportive and I am sure their prayers helped. But it’s not an easy thing to share even with best friends and extended family – I mean how do you even start a conversation around it? It is definitely much easier to share the joys and triumphs than our sorrows and fears. The other reason was the uncertainty – the blood results only provide a marker - a one in X chance that something could be wrong, and this seems like a burden one has to carry oneself.

Today as I write this post, I wonder if I am doing the right thing by putting it in black and white. The ordeal is behind us but the memory still fresh. Yesterday I met with the doctor and she smiled and chatted about how its considered an easy procedure – I have heard the refrain before, but the moments you go through it, you are alone, very alone. On the other hand, like my cousin said this parenting is never easy – it’s always one thing or another. But as the holidays approach, I trust there is a angel somewhere looking over all of us and I can relax and get back to worrying about what cutesy baby items I should buy.

Miracle of life

Part two

Climate can have an important affect on your feelings, there is no doubt about it. When it’s hot, really hot, you are tired but sleeping or lying down is not an option so its irritating. When it’s cold and rainy you would rather curl up in bed and lament about not being able to go outside. One interesting part of living out here in United States is our introduction to new climates like Fall. The change of colors in August, September on the leaves is so prominent that its usually makes up for the arrival of the chilly winters. But the best time is Spring – the onset of summer, the flowers blooming in vibrant colors, Holi (my all-time favorite festival) and so much more. Today I am looking forward to this wonderful time of year even more as we are expecting a little addition to our family. :D

Ok there I said it, nothing cool about it, you say – but after Upsi’s cute work of art, and months of trying to top it – I have realized I am just not that cool to even come close. There is another more personal reason for not going all out too actually, but that will be another post.

How is Kochunni dealing with the news? Well, he seems exited. Talks about baby being hungry, when he is hungry and when I eat, he tells me that the baby is happy and is thanking him. When I told him that the baby will call him “ettan” (elder brother), he was visibly upset since “Is that my name? Why would the baby call me that?” I had to explain that ettan is just a word like Amma (mom), but it took a while for him to accept.

Other household activities are going on as usual, but as I am feeling the little kicks, the excitement mounts. So folks, go take a break, have a drink and be merry!

Updates from Kochunni's daycare

Its been a little more than a year since Kochunni started his new daycare, a Montessori school. Lots have changed from the first time we dropped him off at his original daycare - he doesn't cry and is happy with an 8 hour school. He has definitely learned many things from alphabets, numbers, and songs to even writing and recognizing them. Though for some reason, he doesn't share the details with us too much. We have to pry out the information by asking a million questions and even then, he would rarely sing the songs or tell us about the games they play. Sometimes though he unknowingly provides us information - like when he tells his grandma that switching on the lights in the house is his "job", a concept of Montessori schools where every activity is often defined as a job.

He has made friends and often talks about whom he likes or doesn't. His teachers tell me that he sometimes even looks out for his friends - like when his friend hasn't eaten, he calls out to the teacher letting her know that his friend would like something else instead. Of course there is peer pressure and these days he is asking for things his friends have or bring to school. This Christmas he wants to have shoes that have lights in them so that they will glow just like his friend. His friends have also introduced him to the world of super-heroes - from Spider-man to Batman. I am not sure though how much he understands the concept, but he clearly recognizes most brands that we haven't introduced at home.

This August, as promised he moved to the big class (after the 2-week potty training). He even gets to carry a little folder with his school-work everyday. Some days he complains about how heavy it is (and I think about the pile of books that we used to carry), though at the same time he loves to show off his work.

His teachers are really nice and he seems to like each one of them, though if I threaten to send him back to Ms.L's class he tells me how he is no longer the baby and he is in the big kids class.

Overall, the experience has been great. Of course in time he will need to move to a more structured environment, but hopefully that transition will be smoother as now he has been exposed to a whole world of his own, were we parents are merely observers from afar.

Snowfall

This past Thanksgiving weekend, after much deliberation we rented a house in Lake Tahoe and headed out with some family friends. It was supposed to nice weather and the snow had just started a couple of weeks ago, so the guys were all ready with their ski gear.

We packed enough food for us to have some nice potluck, but as luck would have it we forgot the rice cooker. Luckily the house had a nice big pot for us to make rice the traditional way, while the kids enjoyed some oatmeal to tide off their hunger. We also took some dosa batter, rava for upma and other ready made stuff like soups, chapati and snacks to ensure there was enough nutrition to go around.

We reached the house late night on Thursday, so after a quick dinner everyone hit the sack. The next day was going to be play-date for the kids. We headed out to the resort that offered some kid activities, but on the way it started to snow. Yes, nice fluffy snow. By the time we reached the resort, it was snowing pretty heavily and we had to bundle ourselves in sweaters and jackets and bring out the umbrellas to avoid the direct hit. Luckily the resort had an arcade which allowed us to stay warm indoors. After some pizza, we had to head back home. On the last trip we saw the snow covered mountains and picturesque lake view, and even though that was the first time Kochunni saw snow, this trip yielded us his first ever snow fall. But I have to say it was great to be back at the house all warm and cozy.

When we woke up the next day, the land and rooftops were covered in white blanket of powdery white sugar, the most beautiful sight was our white car - it looked as if someone had covered it in a white blanket. The kids ran up and down the house trying to catch sight of the snow plow trucks that were trying to clean up the roads a little. Since it was supposed to be 'ski' day for the guys and older kids, their first job was to clean off the cars to pull them out of the driveway. After that they headed out. Moms with younger kids decided to stay home and let the kids play a bit in the backyard snow with the fear of driving with snow-chains, which none of us had any experience of.

Luckily the sun was up for most part of the day, which was a boon. Even though it was cold, it melted much of the snow for us to walk around the neighborhood and made it safer for our drive back home the next day.

Seeing the snow fall and having a snow fight was loads of fun, the kids even made a small snowman with the pine cones and snow. But if I ever owned a vacation house I would much prefer it if it were a beach house facing the warm sun and salty seawater. Here I leave you with some wonderful pictures of our fun trip.

Hooked on [blank]

And so it begins … the hooked on (blank) phase!

Two weeks ago we came home with at least 6 toddler books from the library, ranging from colors, trucks, level 1 reading (no he can’t read yet). There was one about Dora and oh boy did he get stuck on that one like a leach. Of course it was about how Dora and Boots worked together to help the ice cream truck that was stuck, which probably fascinated him; but for us it was a torture reading and re-reading the same thing over and over again.

Then there are the shows, it has to be Curious George in the morning (now this one I can at least stand), and evenings dedicated to Bob the builder (no can’t stand the “Yes we can” mantra anymore). I used to think I had a record for watching the same movie 4-5 times, but this little guy has beaten me to the punch. He probably knows the whole 30 minute dialogue like the back of his hand, but he doesn’t get bored … or maybe just maybe he knows it will drive me crazy! Argh!

Kochunni Speak!

Every month, every year passes by and each time I think this is truly the best time to be around this wonderful kid. It was a great ride when Kochunni was still a baby and would gurgle at our antics of peek-a-boo, it was fun zoo at the house when he started to crawl and nothing was off limits, it was beautiful when he christened every member of the family from Muthu to grandpa in his own sweet way and its beautiful today when he talks mile a minute.

One of the best part of the Europe trip was actually spending time with him – when usually all we get are weekend which are cramped with birthdays, house work and a million other things. The trip was total unadulterated time with him and his lively conversation. He talked about the cars, made up stories and best of all gave us directions. Yes! I said directions. It was rather sweet to. He watched us looking constantly at the map trying to determine the way and one day took the map from us and started to peer closely into it and then pointed to the road and explain rather matter of fact way “This way you can see the giraffe, That way you can go and see the elephant.” When we told him that we need to go the way he showed us to see the elephant – he of course wanted to see the giraffe first.

Then there was the time when we bought him a European Volkswagen toy bus – he was super exited and wanted to call home to his Ammamma immediately to let her know that he now has a bigger car than her little brown jeep (a toy that he has given to her when they both play together).

It is super cute (biased opinion, I know) to hear him converse in Malayalam with us and English to his toys. He pretends sometimes to the teacher explaining something to his toys, while at other time he holds up two cars in each hand and pretends that they are having a conversation – usually one is the good car, while the other the bad car that pushes the good car out of the way. The moment we look up at him, he shy’s away sometimes even holding his hand up to his eyes, like the cat who believes no one can see because her own eyes are closed.

So far having family around has helped keep the mother tongue plus other Indian languages alive at home which in turn amazes me. I am not sure how long it will continue but I guess exposure to various cultures, traditions and languages helps his understanding of the uniqueness in each and every human being around us.

Halloween

Halloween turned out to be a full blown party at the house. First comes

• Kochunni and his classmates dance to the Thriller tune at the daycare (the kids even did a little robot dance),
• next comes making cute & scary hand puppets for each member of the family at the local library,
• then comes making our first ever Jack-o-lantern
• and finally trick-o-treating.

Kochunni again donned the “Bob the builder costume” (I figured I could get away with it one more year) and I put on a witches hat and off we went for our trick or treats or as my mom claimed “tendi nadaka” (beg around).

"Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!"

We got a good loot, Kochunni actually admitted that he was tired and wanted to go home towards the end, he even got spooked by a house where the motion activated door connected to a rather spooky ghost tunes. So all in all a good night!

How about yours?

Baby Einstein or not?

The New York Times reported of the major recall of the Disney DVD – Baby Einstein videos which mainly promoted babies to turn around into Nobel prize winners as they watched these shows. Of course there has always been a controversy around showing TV for infants, with most doctors recommending no TV for children under 2 and just moderate activity for toddlers.

No TV until 2 is probably a lot easier rule to implement when you have just one baby in the house. But what if you have 2 kids of varying age or if you have cousins and friends who come over to your house frequently and they are entrenched in High School Musicals and Hannah Montana’s of the world? It’s much easier to comfort ourselves and buy the so-called educational videos to entertain the fussy kid or let them watch a little tele as we feed them greens. Seems like a “a little” trade-off. Well apparently so, as “according to a 2003 study, a third of all American babies from 6 months to 2 years old had at least one “Baby Einstein” video”.

So did each of the parents who bought (gifted/borrowed) such a DVD truly believe that there kids would become instant genius by watching the DVDs – no I don’t think so. Nor do I think that each of the parent who bought a video ended up letting their kids watching TV 24/7. Unfortunately, some trade offs were obviously made. Be it an educational video, a cartoon or a nursery rhyme we all have introduced TV and with it a whole slew of known corrupt products into our child’s life, and there is no going back. You can limit, set rules and possibly add other activities to off-set the idiot box influence but unless you are willing to go back to cave man mode can the genie be put back into the bottle?

I have to admit our no TV initiative of two years is now dead and gone, as Kochunni started watching some you tube songs around 2 years of age and slowly over the last year has extended to half hour TV shows for his meal times – breakfast, lunch and dinner. Of course when we are traveling or he is at daycare there is no TV and he manages well. Our own TV time has generally reduced to the after hours (when the little guy has gone to bed) and amazingly enough the addiction to mind-numbing programs was very easy to turn off. We don't have a Wii nor play the Playstation these days (who has the time) but he sees us using the computer. My dad was studying for his drivers license online and Kochunni enjoys sitting in his lap watching the pictures of cars and road signs. How much of it all is harmful? That is the million dollar question. At our friends house they have their 6 year old to firmly believe that cable TV only works on Friday and over the weekend. So of course Fridays are a late night, and weekend is full of PBS shows when they are home. How soon will she figure out the 'lie' is anybody's guess.

Am I running around in circle here? Possibly. I am not sure if no TV solves the problem either. Children have a way of finding out. Kochunni says he wants to be Spider-man for Halloween, and I was surprised because he has never seen a video or a cartoon about it. But when I showed him a picture he recognized it. So where does that leave us as a parent?

Seems like I have a lot more questions than answers, but that is parenting, isn't it? So with all said and done, here's my two cents, keep trying folks! Try to maintain that balance of imaginative play and mind-numbing programs. All the best!

PS: So what if you did buy an Einstein video, here’s a way to get a refund. :)

Siena & Pisa

Siena

A quaint little town tucked away on the hills - that was my first impression as I stepped down from the bus. Our hotel was located a few blocks away from the main town square - Il Campo. The city could be a coin toss between - a smokers paradise or a pedestrian heaven.

The air is tainted with smoke every corner you turn becoming the one drawback from a non-smokers perceptive. While the city having limits on car and bus allowed into the main city (downtown) area the locals seem to have built a rather healthy way of life. It even made me wonder how the world would be if most overpopulated cities would have similar regulations - not only giving way to a healthy set of people but giving back to the earth, what we have taken for granted for centuries.

Piazza del Campo (Il Campo) or the town square is a large area for townsfolk to meet and greet - a park in disguise. Today the four corners are streamlined with restaurants though I wonder how it would have been say a 100 years ago. The city being small compared to Rome, it seems natural that the locals know each other rather well. The town square was filled with kids playing ball or running to catch the pigeons, an older generation sitting along the side laughing and talking. It was a rather relaxing part of the trip. We enjoyed the evening hours until it was time to head back and find some food. (But the story of the food would have to wait for another post).

The next day, we went to the Duomo (Cathedral) and the nearby museum. The museum houses some of the famous paintings of Madonna and Child as well as the original stained glass window that was originally housed behind the altar inside the Duomo. The main attractions for us was the climb up to the museum top for a great view of the city. The tiled streets, the two-three story houses laid out below was a great sight. Of course for Kochunni the big attraction was the large cranes (Cranky from Thomas series) that were hard at restoration work.

The Church housed some great paintings inside the Piccolomini Library that were so 3-D like that it felt like we were looking thorough a window rather than into a painting. It also has a rather unknown piece of St Peter by Michelangelo. The floor of the Church is lined by mosaics covering the whole floor of the cathedral. The last but not the least is the amazing sculptures by Bernini - St. Jerome playing the crucifix like a violinist lost in beautiful music, and one of Mary Magdalene immersed in her faith of the Lord.

After afternoon lunch we went back to get some rest (gelato + nap). In the evening we went back to Il Campo and browsed the local boutique shops for souvenirs, bags and local antiques.

Final word: Overall Siena turned out to be a very pleasant surprise. It turned out to be the highlight of the trip - a must see place for any Italy traveler for great food, quaint township, good folks and some high-end shopping.

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Pisa

Out next stop was Pisa - a day trip on our way to Florance. Pisa seems like a city that sprouted to support its famous attraction - the bell tower that leaned. Its noisy, dusty - a stark contrast to Siena.

Of course the main reason for the pit-stop was the famous tower, and the famous sights - the Duomo, Baptistery, and the Leaning Tower - are housed inside the Field Of Miracles. As it turns out, we enjoyed the Baptistery were the structure built gives way to great acoustics. In olden days, the priest could sing haunting harmonies with himself, due to the echoes that are created. Today every 15 minutes the guard sings the chord, in remembrance of the bygone era.

Since you have to be eight years old to climb the tower, Kochunni and I sat by the Duomo while husband took the flight of stairs to see the town of Pisa from above.

Probably, we did not give the full justice to the town of Pisa as we headed back to the train station soon after to head out to Florance.

Final word: Seeing one of the seven wonders of the world is the obvious highlight of this trip. So if you are traveling to Siena or Florance, take the easy day trip via Rail Euro and cross off one, out of the seven wonders!

Rome

Its been a while since I used paper and pen to jot down memories. But being in a town square of Siena where everyone walks & seems to know everyone, this seems a logical choice.

Yes I am in Siena - on a week trip to Italy. Our first stop was Rome - the old town. Rome was what one expected - a city built around the ruins and grandeur of the past. It seems like the bygone generation wanted to stand the test of time by building large scale arenas and churches. The pride that locals justly feel towards these monuments overshadows their capacity for providing help to tourists. It seems the locals have no idea where they are themselves or lack common courtesy. But without this one drawback our first stop on the Italy tour turned out to be lesson in history and art.

The Colosseum even with only 1/4th of what once was, stands as a magnificent piece of architecture. The grandeur having outlived its people, it stands boldly challenging us. Of course this stadium has gone down in history for the cruelty that was instituted via the battles between man and animal, but the enginering skill of the people is unmistakable. The center is laid out with many tunnels that would have been underground for people to do all the backstage activities while the whole stadium could seat thousands of people.

Our next stop was the Pantheon - a wonderfully well-preserved structure that stood the test of time due to the fact that it was consecrated as a church. It also stands as a tomb to Renaissance painter Raphael and other kings of Italy. The square surrounding the Pantheon has a wonderful vibe around it with cafes and shops surrounding the square. It almost feels like a college campus!

As jet lag finally hit us we decided to cut short our tour of Rome. So the next day we took the trip to Vatican city - a sovereign city inside Rome. We decided to see St. Peter's Basilica - one of the largest churches in the world. As I stepped into St. Peter's Basilica, Michaelangelo's Pieta stood out in all its glory. Even though one might have seen the image a million times; seeing the artist's (one) masterpiece especially up close (behind the bullet proof glass, sadly) has a greater effect. The largest church seems like the rightful place for this wonderful work of art.

The building is truly a magnificent piece of art and architecture that holds the tomb of St. Peter - according to tradition, first Bishop of Rome. It also houses the bronze statue of Saint Peter, with a very kissable toe that stands out, Bernini's star burst doe at the center and his bronze canopy.

The dome is a huge, magnificent work and as one looks up to the heaven one can only gasp at the infinite possibilities in life and the little time one is presented with. It made me think of the people who actually were able to live their dream, while the thousands who go unnoticed throughout their lifetime and beyond.


Overall Rome reminded me of an old town, the transportation mainly the buses are well connected and very frequent. Of course, they are crowded and one needs to worry about being pick-pocketed but overall the frequent services helped us. Taxis are expensive, of course locals seems to prefer the two-wheelers over anything else. The people are not the friendliest but I guess tourists forever asking them routes and directions would be distracting to anyone. September was a great time to visit weather-wise though we encountered a little drizzle and ended up buying two umbrellas - one of which broke within two rounds of opening and closing!

Final word: Rome is must for history buffs who can enjoy with the crowds and for those who are not interested in history just think about this as a city that contributed to the world some of the finest pieces of art and architecture . A definite must if you travel to Italy.

The Vacation

Being miles away from home, we traditionally save our holidays for the one big trip home. Of course, with such a trip means traveling miles within a span of weeks. Its an ordeal and a vacation rolled into one. After all meeting your college buddies, getting home made food is fun part of the trip, while planning to meet everyone and yet coming back realizing that we did not get enough time with family turns out to be a sad reality of every trip home.

And so planning a vacation - a true vacation - not meeting friends or family - but traveling - doing the thing that all tourists do was a major undertake at the Kochunni household. So after months of deliberation we decided to take an Europe trip. To be more specific an eight day trip to Italy. The next couple of posts are ones I wrote (yes actually wrote down) while in Italy that I am finally posting online. Why did it such a time to post them back online because oh, hmm, well, with all these years of typing away on a computer - the art of decent handwriting seems to have weathered away (rather sadly) to a state of non-existence! Therefore it took some time and effort to re-read my own handwriting! Anyway, hope you enjoy the ride with me ...