The year that was

As I mentioned in my last post, last summer was truly filled with many firsts. Losing a job, even as part of a massive layoff, hits one hard. It feels personal – as though it was somehow your fault, even as one part of your brain tells you that it wasn’t. I had a hard time reconciling between my head and heart about how things had played out at work. On one end, I had 7 glorious years where I met a lot of my now close friends, climbed the corporate ladder and learnt a whole lot of new things. On the other end, was me having to look for something new on not exactly  my own terms. 

I do admit it was fun to be at home and spend time with my family during the summer - I could do many things that so far had been neglected – from my reading, to exercising, to meeting friends, to spending quality time with the little ones. But personally for me, in my own head, being  able to support myself in my own way was very, VERY important. It didn’t matter what anyone else had or brought in – this was my way of independence, my way of saying thanks to my parents who let me learn what I wanted to learn, my way of saying ‘I support you’ to my husband (even though he earns more than I do), my way of telling my boys that girls are their equal, no matter what “manly” superheroes you adore today.

But looking for a job is no easy task. First there is the resume I hadn’t updated in a while. Then there is the dreaded question 'What are you doing these days?'; to spending the hours on end on the computer combing through different job sites. The worst was when you would get cold calls from recruiters. You did your best to present yourself only to realize that they were just hunting for names – possibly to fill their quotas of how many job seekers did they add to their database. Frustrating? Terribly so. There were days when I would get call backs and interviews scheduled which would lift my spirits to days to when I heard nothing that would just as easily bring me down.

But like the saying goes, once you are down, the only way to go is up or like in my case build a tunnel to get back up. I started my tunnel by finding things I could do. I applied for workers compensation, I took to a career counselor (that was part of my exit package) who helped a lot with my resume and interview questions. I kept myself busy at Kochu’s school from field trips to reading in class to becoming our school’s PTA media coordinator. I kept in touch with my friends who had lost their jobs as part of the restructure and we built a rapport. It was not easy but along the way of tunnel digging I realized that just because you lose your job you do not lose your identity. Self worth, confidence comes from many other factors - from your family, from friends, from your thoughts, and finally our OWN deeds. I concentrated on my health, on my kids and on God's work. There had to be a reason for this change and even though I had no idea what it was I had to believe that there was something on the other side that was awaiting for me.

It probably started to show in my later interviews as well (I think) as towards the end of 2013 I started feeling a whole lot better. I finally got a job offer and just like that the ball was back in my court. Granted it is a contract role that will run its course in a few months but I the tunnel I have dug for myself has landed my on a new shore with new horizons to follow and explore. I will be back looking for a more permanent role soon but for now I am going to take a breather and enjoy my view. 

Different but same same

I had always known that the boys will have their own personalities, same likes and lots of in-between. But it is interesting to see how similarly different they are at times and how differently similar they are at times.

On the one end is the sameness, both want to be first to get into the car, to get off from the car, to run to the bath or whatever else it might be. They love to dance and sing to bollywood dance numbers from Chamak Challo to Bol Bachchan.  Boys will be boys and their fascination with 'poop' and singing nonsense is uncannily similar that it is often hard to disearn who started it this time.



In the middle of the spectrum is the imitation/flattery angle. Here is the little one trying to imitate his big brother on the bike. At 2 he already mastered the little bike. Kunju wants to do, and learn anything the older one does. At the playground, he has no fear of the big slides or monkey bars and if we try to slow him down, he looks at us like we must be out of our minds to even suggest it!

Where Kochunni was all into cars from the time he was 6-7 month old and collected so many cars, Kunju was never very fond of them. Of course since he grew up around the said cars that he probably was not in awe of any of them.It's the same with everything be it food or toys. Older one wants chappati, little one wants rice, though both like to munch off Amma's plate whatever that might be!

I am sure as they grow they are going to be poles apart and yet I hope that the bonds they share today will help them stay close and in contact forever.

Another beginning

It's been ages since I have lifted my pen, or rather sat down and opened blogger to pen down my musings. Of course there is always something or the other and yet I seemed to have lost my motivation to write. Things happened - big and small - everyday things and milestones - and yet I wasn't moved. My mother, even she tried, but somehow their wasn't enough time in the world.

As the new year starts I decided I need to at least make the effort of doing a year end post to note things I still remember from last year. Kochu closed out kindergarten in style and enjoyed every minute of school. He made many new friends and by the end of the school year grown to love his teachers, his school and his new friends.  Now in First grade he seems to be building his social skills some more. He tried his hand at basketball and continue to flourish in swim lessons.

Kunju had his second birthday and he seems to have skipped being a baby altogether. Learning about superheroes and ninjas, he bypassed the whole PBS days of curious George, Thomas the train and other things. Picking up from his older brother saying No to everything is often times the first answer to everything. The terrible twos phase is passing us by - hopefully the new year will curb it some.

During summer we made another Europe trip - this time to Paris, Belgium, Amsterdam and a ride through German countryside. Traveling with two boys had it's own share of adventure and craziness. Paris was just like the movies - all the flair and not much substance. Belgium was a surprise - absolutely great food (fries - actually invented here and not France, waffles, and chocolates - YUM). The car ride through Germany was a great experience in terms of traveling through small towns and enjoying the true countryside. The people were friendly and the places around the Rhine river was just breathtaking. Like someone once said, it was beautiful to take the road less traveled - to wander, to slow down and enjoy the moments.

This past month we went down to Lake Tahoe and Kochu for the first time tried his hand (or should I say leg) at skiing. He took to it like fish to water. Enjoying going downhill and playing with his cousins and friends we made most out of the snow. Halloween, Diwali, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year celebrations had it's own style and fun. The boys dressed up as Captain America and Iron Man for Halloween while for Diwali they blew phuljharies and lit diyas outside the house. We did many day trips around the bay area and enjoyed all the holidays.

As the new year starts, new things are beginning to shape up; just as old things keep us strong. Kochu starts back on swimming and basketball lessons. He is learning chess and wants to enroll into piano as well. I have take a new job and Kunju should soon start at daycare. No idea how my writing will shape up ... but we'll give it a shot.

And then there was five

Today morning Amma and Achan left to go back to India.

It was more than a year ago when they came here for a visit and it got extended when I got pregnant. They stayed on for the delivery and then longer to help us out. Even though Achan made a 4 week trip in between, Amma was with us for the longest time after a very long time. The last time we were all together for such a long time was before my marriage. Of course, more than me, they enjoyed Kochu's company. He blossomed in their love and care. Muthu (grandpa) had to read to him, help him learn the Spider-man - big cycle and attend the garden to ensure a healthy crop of beetroot (his favourite vegetable). While Ammamma (grandma) became his personal chef, his teacher teaching him sholkas; helping him in his little homework, and his favourite student when he played teacher, in summary his best friend at home. When Kunju arrived, they became our lifeline as they stayed home with Kochunni while we were at the hospital. They ensured Kochu never felt that he had been displaced in our attention.

We prepared Kochu as much as possible, telling him about their impending departure as many times as possible. He would always get upset and tell us how much 'sad, mad' he would be. In the middle of all this we forgot how much we would miss them. Its only been 8 hours since they have left and the house feels empty. Luckily my mother is law is with us, Kochu and Kunju are active as ever and keeping our mind occupied; but there already been many moments when the house feels deserted.

It always is the same story when a visit ends. Even if the visit is for a weekend, weeks or months the folks that are left behind find it the hardest to adjust. For the person traveling it seems like an easier adjustment as there are no more reminders. Change – the ever constant thing is life is a tough pill to swallow.

Family

I am an only child. There I said it loud and clear. Now go on think back to all the readings you might have on this blog - do I sound selfish, bratty, aggressive, lonely, or even spoiled rotten? I can deny it, but you would want to talk to my mom or dad first, wouldn't you? I get it, it’s the bad reputation that we ‘only children’ have. But from my perceptive, family comes in all shapes and sizes. I recall the first time I saw the Pride and Prejudice I wondered quite extensively how cool it might be to be in a family of 5 sisters - the Bennet sisters seemed like the epitome of sisterly love and it wasn't until I actually read the book that the various layers of book made it clear, or I probably became less romantic. Did I get lonely during my childhood days - yes, there were those days. But I learned to entertain myself. Did I get completely pampered – no I don’t think so. Our house had the “majority rule” policy, so that for many decisions if mom and dad joined forces I had no way of getting away!

Now that I am having a second, I think a lot about how the family dynamics would change when the little angel arrives. Already, my husband complains how I spoil Kochunni – no not with toys but sheer hugging and cuddling every day. In my mind though this is the only time – in a few years he probably would want to walk away from it all. Then all I have would be memories and I want a treasure-trove of them. But back again to family, I know of many sisters, many brothers and many brothers and sisters – but I haven’t been part of that – that is not until a few weeks from now. In a few weeks time my only child will be first born, “dethroned” to accommodate the younger child. I wonder about his reactions from awe & curiosity to jealously and even anger. And what about the younger child? Would he complain that he never received the one-on-one attention or about the fact that he always be the baby of the family?

What about the dynamics of having two kids at home. We are already wrestling with the idea of daycare, school and other costs. I cannot even comprehend how the emotional and physical ride might be? I think I am mentally prepared to have the second baby, but feelings of doubt often do creep up. What especially worries me is when I hear stories about how much kids fight and don't get along with each other and when that flows into their adulthood. But even with a multitude of questions, one single thought emerges – family is an ever-growing constant. By birth or by choice the family grows and multiplies but it is still the one constant in most of our lives.

So I realize that all I can promise my little ones is to provide a “home” full of fights and fairness, laughter and sadness, ups and downs – a place where commitment to family and love will supersede other choices.

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~ Dodie Smith

The trip to the park

A long time ago, a girl her father and mother would take the bus to go up about 2 miles to reach a little park in the middle of the town. It wasn't huge, rather small that had little trails weaving in an out of grassy patches. All around the park were tall buildings, and the park seemed a little oasis in the middle of the concrete jungle.

Often the father would buy a small pack of roasted peanuts from the street vendor right outside the park and munch on them as the little girl played around. After some time, the family would head back home, walking most of the way home. It would be nice weather the heat having settled down. The parents would talk about pressing matters that were far beyond the little girl. But she enjoyed the walks, sometimes the father buying a little treat - ice cream, bhel puri, ganne ka juice, towards the end of the journey.

This is what a park reminds me of ... the long walks home, the little treats, the window shopping. As I grew up and the traffic in town build its way up, we had to find newer less traveled routes. And within months, those routes would in turn have "developed" into multi-lane roads with cars honking while stuck in a traffic jam, as if honking loudly would magically clear the road.

Unfortunately Mumbai doesn't boast of many parks, we had grounds to play in ... just empty fields that kids captured with their imagination and played cricket, football and catch (wonder if that is fast disappearing as well). But that is the memory of parks that I hold very close to heart.

Today as I take Kochunni to nearby parks, there are no street vendors nearby (sometimes a ice cream truck), just designated playgrounds by age groups and vast open grounds with wonderful trails. We meet new folks, exchange pleasantries, the kids play together for a while, and we come back home. A new memory is being formed, a memory vastly different, but who says they have to be the same. Its still a sweet memory of the good times, a memory that one day is (hopefully) close to Kochunni's heart.

Vishu 2009

With two young corporate go-getters and today being a weekday, this year’s Vishu celebrations at our house is a bit subdued than previous years. But trying to be a good mother, you do your best. And so after Kochunni went to bed yesterday, I set up a small Kani. Today after waking up early, I lit the diyas and woke up the husband and then took the sleeping Kochunni to the puja area to show him the wonderful sight. This is the tricky thing, since Kani needs to be seen before sunrise, it was quite early for him. He opened his eyes and quickly turned away, trying to get away from the bright lights, still in his sleep. I figured that is good enough and took him back to bed.

With a few hours at hand, after bath I made the traditional “quick and easy” semiya payasam and some breakfast. After getting Kochunni’s lunch box ready, I went out to get some flowers from the front yard to make a pookalam(flower-kolam). Luckily the roses were in full bloom and just like last year I set up a small pookalam in front of the house and inside, near the puja area. Soon Kochunni was awake and it felt like any other day with the morning activites to get him ready. He was a bit surprised with the Vishukaineetam and was happy to play with the silver coin he received from us. And that was it, as for the celebrations for today.

It will be a long day at work and the regular temple visit will probably have to be postponed. But thinking about the yummy payasam I made earlier today, almost makes up for not really having a big sadya (feast) at lunch. (you know where my priorities lies :D)

Here's wishing you all a very prosperous & happy Vishu!

The Christmas that was …

Full of gifts for the little fella, two parties and one enjoyable train ride. This year too, Kochunni did not grasp the full meaning of Christmas, Santa Claus or the gifts – he seemed to just take everything in stride with a curious sense of joy and wonder, which after all is the true spirit of any festival. He picked up the plane and his truck as the first gifts to be opened but in a little while he took to the drawing board easel scribbling away the sun, the moon and the stars, much to my joy. (We still have to open the little doctor set which I will probably hideaway for the next rainy day).

In the evening we went to our friends Christmas party and enjoyed ourselves to some nice food and innovative party games that the hosts came up with. Isn’t it great when the host of the party really plans a party well – fun for the kids and adults. The next day being holiday I was hoping to sleep in but as usual Kochunni woke up and like the last few weekends he tried to wake us up by singing rather loudly and completely out of tune. The new thing that has also started the past weekend is to jump out of the bed and walk out into the living area – and of course being the most ultra-sensitive cautious parents one of us goes up right behind him to see if he is up to any mischief. Anyway the only good that came of getting our asses out of the bed was that I was able to get to some after-Christmas sales and bought some ornaments for the front yard for the next year. Of course hubby was cross since it meant another box in the already filled up garage.

Saturday we left early for a train trip to Sacramento along with our friends. Maybe it was the low expectations from the trip that it became all the more fun and memorable. We boarded the early morning Amtrax train and as we caught the seats in the upper level we were amazed at the clean and overall spacious little corner. We got the middle seats with tables so the kids enjoyed banging on them and driving their toy cars. The three hours were over pretty soon as we watched some beautiful coastline scenes along the way.

At Sacramento, we walked a few minutes to the little old town - Railroad museum. All of us expected (though no one admitted) it be a dud with possibly pictures of old trains, but to our real surprise they had the real trains parked inside for our viewing pleasure. From the guided tour we learned about the history and as we walked around these majestic trains we were amazed at how our forefathers would have welcomed this mode of transport – connecting people along some pretty impressive mountains and terrains that before then seemed impregnable. Of course you also hear about the wrongs of our forefathers ( the Chinese laborers were pretty much ill-treated, even though they put in equal if not more effort into building a fully functional train system), did which saddens our hearts. There is also a couple of compartments that you can board to see up close - the sleeper chair and the dinning cart along with the impressive chinaware. The upstairs part of the museum is dedicated to some wonderfully built toy cars, which was an instant hit among the boys. Kochunni loved the play area with Thomas and his friends toys and was not ready to leave until quite a bit of warning to leave him there alone. We had lunch a family style Pizza place and by the time we boarded the train for our trip back we were all exhausted. Luckily Kochunni slept for most of the ride back and we only had to entertain one kid who finally slept when it was almost time to get off the train.

We came home exhausted, but still no one could stop talking about the benefits of traveling in the train, our memories of travels back in India and how wonderful it would be if more of America was connected via trains and if it was a little bit more cheap. As we promised ourselves to look into some other nearby places to go for our next weekend get-away, we hauled ourselves home. Sunday was spent relaxing, watching some movies and attending a birthday party. And so ended our Christmas break.

How about yours? Do anything fun?

Story Time

One of my fondest memory from my childhood is during the power-cut hour, sitting in front of our house in Bangalore, with my grandfather - him on his lazy chair, the rest of us on the ground, or the stairs, telling me wonderful stories. There was something mysteriously fun about sitting outside in pitch darkness with only the light shimmering from the million stars above, listening to the stories. My grandfather is one of the best story-tellers. He introduced me to Lord Krishna – through various stories – Kaliya-mardhana, Putana, Bakasura and many more. Today one little search, can land you with a million sites offering stories – folklore, mythology and everything in between. But reading is vastly different from listening to a story.

The magic is in the words, the description, the hint of mystery when some things are left to the listeners’ imagination. It cannot be long, drawn out measure because you might loose the listeners interest, nor do you want to say too much that they have nothing left to imagine. It’s definitely a talent.

When my dear Chachan (grandpa) used to tell me the story, it was his voice – rough, loud and clear that helped build the story. It was also his diction and the little details in the story that he would include. I still remember the first time he told me the story of “The Count of Monte Cristo” he remembered all the character names. Unfortunately I seem to have forgotten many of them today! (sob!) He had a craft in telling the story – like when he narrated the story of Krishna's Kaliyamardhana he would describe the dance Lord Krishna did on the snake with a little beat - "Tham Thakka ...", holding one hand like a hooded snake and the other to symbolize Krishna jumping around the various fingers.

Flash forward 25 years, now I am trying to tell stories to Kochunni – stories of wonder, stories of love and of devotion. I don’t think I have a good talent but I am trying my best. I hope that as he gets older he will enjoy story time, maybe we can sit outside, in the moonlight and build memories together.

On the other hand, he probably already has his great grandpa's talent. He is making up stories about the lion and the monkey jumping on the car and running around, drinking milk, sometimes falling over, sometimes giving you hugs. If you ask him why they fell over, he will turn around look at a spot and ask the lion why he fell, its funny, amusing and lovable. He draws in details that you don't expect from a 2 year old - of course the details might not be all that right with the lion in a green shirt or driving the fast car, but to me what matters is his thought process the fact that he is able to imagine, and to build as much detail as he is able to with his limited vocabulary to tell me a 'katha'.

Happy B-Day DADDY!

To the dad ...

who would never forget little treats for his girl; however late he was

who would always act surprised when he finally found the girl hiding under the bed

who taught her how to ride the bike and play badminton

who always argued a case with her until another joined the fight, that they would mysteriously become best friends

who made her laugh

who wrote up a new lullaby for his grandson (still his favorite one at that)

who is and forever will be the BEST dad this girl could have ever!

Happy Birthday, Achan.

Happy Onam 2009

With a small attempt at the traditional pookalam in front of the house, Onam celebrations are at full swing at our house.
Here's wishing everyone a great Onam.

Are you being served?

Over the weekend we had relatives come over & so we decided a trip to Santa Cruz boardwalk was the best thing to do with three kids - one of whom who really wants to get into the beach, even if she was sick, and one grey haired lady who never denies herself the beach if the possibility arose. So anyway, we made the trip (more on that later). And what fun it was, and after 3 hours of rides, sand and water we decided it was time to come back to reality.

Since it was already 8PM by the time we reached the car, we decided to eat out, before the kids feel asleep in the car ride back. So honey checks his new ultra gadget (phone) and finds a restaurant and the directions for the same. We get there and ask for a table for 8. The owner/manager asks the waiter to join two table together so we can be seated together. We sit down and wait. So good so far, then our luck turns!

Now when you are with kids its a big gamble on what they might or might not eat, so after much discussions, we finally order some rotis, 4 curries and full plate veg birayni that supposdly comes with extra pulav, raita and roti, we were hoping that if the biryani turned out spicy they can at least have the pulav and raita.

When the food finally arrives, the kids love the panner pakoras over everything else. But the mommies wouldn’t let go in trying to add some rice and vegetables into their tummies. So we check with our waiter – where’s the pulav? He apologizes and decides to go & check back with the chef. Comes running back and says Veg Biryani does not come with pulav. We are puzzled and explain it says on your menu and ask him to get the menu and pointdely point it out. He checks the menu and had the decency to look embarrassed and walks up to the owner/manager – explaining the situation. Not sure what is 'really' exchanged between the two but our waiter comes over apologizing that we still cannot have our pulav, but if we switch our order of a curry to a dinner he can get a plate of pulav, raita, roti and salad. We look at each other in disbelief and say “ok Fine”.

Now you would think this was the last straw but no, when the receipt comes for the dinner, they seems to have added extra gratuity just for the fact that we joined two tables!!! WTF!

I have heard stories about bad etiquette at the restaurants before, like the time when my friend saw the waiter check the tip she left behind, but this one takes the cake. I mean I am sure they had enough pulav, raita to offer us, and instead on just saying ‘sorry our mistake’, they pretty much asked us to change our order around to accommodate them! And for what a few extra bucks?!

The food was fine, except maybe a tad too oily, but I wouldn’t go back there ever!

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Edited to add: Just checked online and it looks like they have a history in bad service … wonder how it’s still running!

It’s been years since ...

... I have had an ardent follower, who shows his utmost displeasure at my exclamations of love – the frowning of the brows, the angry look, lifting his hand ready to beat up my poor lover. Before you get any ideas let me introduce you to my dearest little 2 year old – who was royally upset with my husband and I.

What not me the center of your universe, he seemed to want to say. But for once we laughed, and hugged and blew each other a kiss. The poor guy realized that he better be inside the circle of love than out, and so came running to hug onto his father’s legs. We picked him up and blew some kisses to his cheek and he sat there happily satisfied – a look in his face that said – see all’s well now! :D

With a great start to the day, husband and I caught up over lunch- an impromptu lunch date. Of course, we ended up talking about our son, the house and work. But what the heck, we tried a new Middle eastern restaurant, spoke in loud voices over the crowds and generally had a great time.

In the evening we made a trip to the temple and asked for Lord Ganapati’s blessings. Then went out for dinner – where for a change Kochunni was on his best behavior. So there ended a beautiful day.

Happy Anniversary, my dear husband. Here’s to many more years of growing old with you! Cheers!

The long weekend

For the past several years we have routinely made a trip someplace for the Labor Day long weekend – it was our annual anniversary celebration, plus the end of summer getaway – sort of the last hurrah. This year though we had no plans, but it turned out to be one roller coaster ride after all.

On Saturday we decided to make a trip to the Palo Alto Junior Zoo & Museum. It’s really a small place, but packed with lot of fun for toddlers. There are rabbits, turtles, fishes and a small pond for the ducks, and a little “bridge” for Kochunni to walk up and down as if some sort of a king! A miniature cage for the rats, while a darkened corner for the bats and the owl. (Kochunni really got scared of the sleeping owl – it was so huge and was sitting with his eyes closed, reminded me of Dumbledore for some weird reason).

The museum area was fun for the little guy as he tried his hands at every toy around. It’s definitely a place to be, when you have nowhere else to be. I am sure Kochunni will outgrow the place quickly, since it is really a mini zoo cum museum but for the opportunity it provides with its clean surroundings and close to the heart of the bay area and light on the purse (they only ask for a merger $3 donation) it is well worth it. (recommended to all bay area moms and dads)

The next day we decided to make a trip down further to the Oakland Fairyland. Now this is definitely a privatized version of Palo Alto Zoo, and no I am not even comparing it to Disneyland with its acres of attractions and fun.Its definitely not a place to be if you have a kid who is over 3 (max 4) once past that age it’s a sheer waste of time and money. But for a two/three year old it can be fun. For a two year old its more about the slides, the whale (Kochunni was so happy trying to get to the little fishes on the slippery slope) and the little carousal. For a three old who knows all the rhymes and nursery stories, it can probably be a wonderland – with the puppet shows, different set ups based on the stories. As for us, (the grey haired oldies) you can be happy if you see a happy child right! Ah well! Of course, you cannot get in without a child (there is a board at the front desk – No child without adult and no adult without a child) so I guess they are fair. One tip: If you are taking a boy – don’t bother with the Magic key – he is not going to have the patience of inserting it into the boom box and listening to the song, when he can rather run in circles trying to make his mama lose some weight. So if you still have a toddler at your house, do make a trip – don’t compare it to Disneyland and you shall have a day of fun.

By Monday I was down with a cold and woke with my eyes burning hot and heavy (I think it was my husband who brought it home last weekend from office, I just hope the buck stops with me). We decided to call it a movie day and ended up watching one of my favorite police detectives John McClane see what he does best – beat up bad guys at their own game in Live Free and Die Hard. So what if the story had holes in it like the size of the watermelon, if he can still say his famous line “Yippee ki yay …” with a sly smile on his face I am down for another movie all about McClane! :D

So that was our weekend, and I am now looking forward to a short week and of course high hopes for a special day tomorrow! ;) How about you, how was your last weeks of summer?

Flashlight memories

Don't you miss someone when they are gone and you realize how much you depended on them. But until they are gone you find so many faults in them that one would think you would rather not keep in touch with them. I am talking about my laptop (in case anyone was getting any other ideas). Its one of the best love-hate relationships I have had for a longest time now. I was happy for a time when I got a Mac, but now that's gone, & with no real hope of getting another one, I am forever in this limbo of "I hate you, but please don't leave me" mode.

So my PC crashed and I was out of it for more than a week. In the meantime, I was loaned an old rickety one, but that meant slow everything! Horrors of all, I lost all the saved URLs and could not keep in touch with blog friends, (yes I should sign up for a reader, but am too lazy to bother, if you haven't noticed yet that is). On the other hand life moved on, my work load piled as I was out of my PC (yes saying it again) and with two colleagues out on vacation I have additional backing up responsibilities. So in the interest of keeping my blogging up, here's something that I had written in 2002 for my speech class, that I found over the weekend while cleaning up - posting it here for posterity! Enjoy!

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Back during the school years, we had the shift system in Mumbai - primary school was in the afternoons while secondary from 5th through 10th in the mornings (7 through 1PM). Pre-primary or nursery was probably the best times for kids from around 10 to 12. One of the episodes that I still remember vividly occurred while I was still in nursery ...


Coming home from schools, on sunny afternoons had special meaning to my little heart. Amma used to pick us up from nursery and once home a nice hot, delicious lunch was always ready. After a quick nap and a few hours of studies it would be time to play. All my friends would gather at the playground and decide what we were going to do that day. It would be fun, filled with laughter and fights.

But on afternoon my playtime would end. I fell down the stairs, in an attempt to 'catch' my best friend. The incident occurred when the two of us were running up and down our apartment stairs playing catch, while my mom was talking with her's at their doorstep. All I got was a piece of red frock she was wearing and then I tumbled down just and broke my arm. My cries brought Amma running to me and she took me home - she put some Iodex and checked my arm when she realized that it was possibly broken - since it looked twisted. Those were the days when only a few houses had a telephone and cars, plus only a few of the people were at home since it was a working day. She called on one of the elderly couple who had a phone too and asked them if they could call my dad and let him know. The kind uncle not only did the same, he accompanied Amma to the nearby hospital. I don't remember much of that day, as I was most of time
in pain, crying and hungry. I must have dozed into sleep often and once when I woke up it smelt like like an aftermath of fire - everything around me was white tiles and people in white as well (I have hated that color since then). Amma later told me, that she was moved around quite a bit in trying to get to meet with a doctor to check me up - the lines long and day melted away in the throngs of people and noise. The only two other things that I can remember from that day, was being seated in a little park area and seeing my dad walk in, I was very happy to see him - Daddy's girl that I was! :) Another piece that stayed in mind was the ride home, late at night and a few visitors that came by to check up on me (I guess the news had spread by then).

Over the next few days I realized what the doctors visit meant in reality - I could not move my right arm. I could not even see it. My fingers were sticking out of a white plaster around my arm (put to straighten my arm, which was broken). In the days that followed, I could not play, write or even wear my dresses properly. The right arm of the dress would be hanging down since I could not put my arm through it. I was ashamed to go out like that. What would my friends think?

On the other hand, I skipped school, no proper baths and was hand-fed from amma for all meals. It often used to itch, but with the plaster around - nothing could be done. The plaster came off only after a month of tantrums and possible hardships my parents - Amma had to visit one of my school friends and copy all the classwork & homework, so that I wasn't left behind when I rejoined.

But I was finally happy. I could wear my dress, play and even write again. To my little heart it was a great achievement indeed!

The party begins...

No drum rolls

No petals dropped from the skies above.

But a baby stepped up into toddlerdom, and the K3 house celebrated it with all the pomp and celebrations it deserved and more.

The celebrations started Thursday night when family arrived. Somehow the advent of family and friends really brings out a little cheer that any celebration deserves. The next morning, when Kochunni learn't that his ettan had arrived from Texas, he was too exited to do anything but go meet them all. Of course, he clung to my hip like I was going to take him to the butcher, but within minutes apprehension gave way to pure joy. The morning rituals done, he was happy to play with his “chachu” and ettan. Elephant rides; non stop singing to the tunes of Lakdi ki kathi and the nursery rhymes enthralled the visitors.

Finally around 10, I pushed honey to take the little guy to the daycare. (We had already planned for a little celebration at the daycare – so he had to go). The house suddenly quiet I turned to get some work done, while honey continued with the house cleaning and last minute shopping. During lunch hour, I set up the goodie bag for the kids at the day care and we were all set to drop by around 3. Every minute passed, looking at the clock – is it time yet I wondered. It felt like the last day in school before the summer vacations – you can’t sit still but you still have the last Math class to attend.

Finally at 3, we set everything into the back of our car and headed to daycare. Instead of going straight to the play area, we stopped at the front, waiting patiently with the teacher S to ensure that kids had woken up from their nap time. After another 10 mins we went in, looking into the 7 pairs of surprised eyes, looking for one pair that almost immediately showed confusion and happiness. Kochunni ran to me and then to his dear Achan, hugged our legs and cried "Aae-daku" (life me up). As I laid the carrot cake down, he came running to me. All the kids, still groggy eyed from their sleep sang beautifully to the “happy birthday tunes”. The cake cut, the kids couldn’t wait to get their hands on it. The kids were more than happy to get their hands on the ice-cream and goodie bag later.

All in all, it turned out well. We said our good-byes to everyone and the teacher hugged little Kochunni good bye.

We got home with a small piece of cake and remainder of the ice-cream for rest of the gang at home. The sugar rush seemed to give the little guy extra energy that I left him at home, to get some t-shirts for dear honey, whose birthday was the next day.

At the mall I decided to treat myself to a pedicure session that turned into a waiting game of – please can you finish this soon? From the looks of it, the girl doing the manicure on the lady sitting next to me started to have some sort of an argument with another girl – possibly about whose turn it was. Its amazing how even without understanding a word of what they said in an Asian language we could figure out what the argument was about.

We finally hurried home to the little guy, who still seemed to be on a sugar rush. A quick dinner and some more games later I put him to bed, hoping that tomorrow he would sleep in so we can get some of the at-home party preparations out of the way!

[To be cont ... ]

Yes to weekends

Utah is the first to vote for a 3-day weekend, due to soaring gas prices, and according to few an environment friendly action. Whatever it is, would you say “Yes” to longer weekends?

Growing up “weekends” as a concept never hit home. My school (being totally weird) had Thursday’s and Sundays off. Dad had half-days on Saturdays (though he probably made it home on time on Sat about 10 times only) and Sunday’s off. So Sunday was the only day when the entire family was together. All this changed when I landed in US - the meaning, the luxury of having two full days to yourself to do as you please started to make sense. And now that it has, I can be greedy enough to move to Utah just to get the 3-days off :)

Wouldn't you?

More time to spend time idly “Kaling” (coloring) with Kochunni, finger painting butterflies, the suns and stars?

Of course, there are the chores – the cleaning, the scrubbing, the dusting that we need to attend to … but it pays when in the evening you can sit out in your own backyard listening to the birds up on the lemon and orange trees; pluck ripe sweet apricots from the tree and eat to your hearts delight. Read late into the night and sleep in the afternoons, go on long drives ... just about anything to take the monotony of life out.

So what do you say?

Roots

Yesterday evening after dinner we sat around in the living room discussing our options – where will be in the next few years (in terms of a place to call home). Why this sudden urge to discuss such bland topics – because ... no idea, I guess we somehow landed on it!

I remember my childhood days very well; Bombay school (sorry it will be Amchi Bombay to me) was in shifts – primary school in the afternoon and secondary early morning. Either way, after school we would rush home, throw our stuff after a little snack or homework we were off to play. Everyone knew everyone else in the neighborhood. This was our ‘adda’ and we were the rulers.

I don’t see if the same would happen for Kochunni – here the neighbors are friendly but not enough to drop by any time of day to borrow some sugar and chat about the daily grind. People don’t meet each other at the 7:27 local and walk back home together talking about this & that. Here everyone is afraid of stepping into someone else’s space and keeps their distance. Yes it definitely has its moments when you don’t have to worry about a neat and tidy house – you know that no one will come unannounced, and of course you don’t want nosy neighbors. But I wish there was a balance.

I would want a ‘settled’ life for Kochunni from at least age 4 onwards – one place to call home where we can all grow old together - a place that he can fondly remember even if he moves out of it - like I do today. But will I know my neighbor, will there be other kids for Kochunni to call upon – or will I need to set up schedules to have a play-date? Will Kochunni have summers where he and his friends can play what they want – cycling down the street, a heated game of cricket, have hard-core fights over why one played better than other and then make up a minute later; and if nothing else just sit around and chat.

Couple of months back when Amma was here, I was discussing something else and realized that life back in India has changed too. Parents are enrolling kids in all sorts of classes for the kids – computers, music, dance, swimming, apart from the regular tuition classes. Its competitive and the wheels are turning, I wonder if I am looking back with rosy tinted glasses and not seeing the full picture – I mean, I took tuitions too during the last years of school. But I can still relate to time spend idly among friends – the incessant chatter that would stop the moment an adult passed by, the parents meeting up for coffee or just sitting by the large garden and chatting.

Buying a house definitely a first step towards staying put, but with both sets of parents still in India and not many family members here, I wonder if this is place to be. Or am I turning more like my dad who always wished to go back to live in his hometown and still continues to do the same! (Dad, if you read this, please know I totally understand how you feel, more today than when I was a kid & crib about not ever leaving Bombay!)

No decisions yet, I don’t know where I will be 2 years from now, but I hope I can reach a resolution by then – at least I think I need to.

An affair to remember

1 Daughter
2 People
0 Affairs
6 Honeymoons
7 Adoring Nieces & Nephews
Inseparable like the circles of 8

Equals

30 Years of Togetherness and Still Counting.

Yes, that’s my parents for you!!! :)

Happy Anniversary!!!

An Unexpected Holiday

Since we had family in town, I decided to take some time off from work and show them around town. But they had a sudden change of plans and decided to visit some other relatives in another city for a couple of days – this was something that they had been going back and forth for a few days now – One day they wanted to go, next not – I guess when you are traveling you are bound to be a little unsure on how you want to plan out your days. Anyway, when I got home from work yesterday – they had decided to leave immediately and be back to our place by weekend, unaware that I had decided to take some time off from work. Hate to admit, but I was a little peeved by the decision. Now I seemed to have a holiday in my hands –for no reason at all – no birthdays, no anniversaries, no festivals!

Usually I am one of those people that never took a sick day(anti-jinx), and went on planned vacations usually combined with other company holidays. PTOs were saved for the big vacation - the trip to India. Planning for an India trip would start months in advance and it was not really a vacation in the American sense of the word – no relaxation, no spa days, no ‘just’ lounging days, but hectic travel between my place to in-laws place to meeting relatives and friends – not that I am complaining – just stating a fact. Its honeymoon versus a huge family picnic difference - you enjoy both, but while one is just relaxing time with the one you love, the other is cooking, packing, driving, monitoring kids and spending time with ones you love. The later involves more work on your end to plan and execute.

But back to my holiday today – I have absolutely no idea what I can do for two whole days. First stop, I decided to sleep-in, but your body is getting old and it just enjoys the routine – so I was up at 6.30 – so now what? I guess, I don’t have to push Kochunni too much – it can be a leisurely day to eat breakfast – but now he loves to eat food quickly. (anti-jinx). Now what? We (meaning myself and Hd) decided lets drop him off to daycare for a short while – just to ensure he hasn’t forgotten the routine. I wasn’t sure how he would react – would he cry, cling to me or what … No nothing – he is totally fine. I guess, now that his ettan has left the building, he probably understands that his vacation is over (so to speak). Either way, he seemed to fine when I left him.

So now what? I finally came up with a small plan – since today my little boy is not at home, why not clean up the place – it anyways looks like we lived through a tornado with all the toys, suitcases from the trip and a hundred outfits to go into laundry – why not play catch up. (Definitely not my favorite chore in the world – but better to get over with) Then tomorrow it can be a special day with the little guy … could I take him to park, to the mall, to the library – someplace where he could have fun. That’s something I need to think of – somewhat of a special yes day for the little guy.

As for me, I can check out blogs, read up old posts, do some chats with friends, apply mehendi and enjoy a movie – so hopefully the unexpected holiday can turn into a great spa day after all!