Another beginning

It's been ages since I have lifted my pen, or rather sat down and opened blogger to pen down my musings. Of course there is always something or the other and yet I seemed to have lost my motivation to write. Things happened - big and small - everyday things and milestones - and yet I wasn't moved. My mother, even she tried, but somehow their wasn't enough time in the world.

As the new year starts I decided I need to at least make the effort of doing a year end post to note things I still remember from last year. Kochu closed out kindergarten in style and enjoyed every minute of school. He made many new friends and by the end of the school year grown to love his teachers, his school and his new friends.  Now in First grade he seems to be building his social skills some more. He tried his hand at basketball and continue to flourish in swim lessons.

Kunju had his second birthday and he seems to have skipped being a baby altogether. Learning about superheroes and ninjas, he bypassed the whole PBS days of curious George, Thomas the train and other things. Picking up from his older brother saying No to everything is often times the first answer to everything. The terrible twos phase is passing us by - hopefully the new year will curb it some.

During summer we made another Europe trip - this time to Paris, Belgium, Amsterdam and a ride through German countryside. Traveling with two boys had it's own share of adventure and craziness. Paris was just like the movies - all the flair and not much substance. Belgium was a surprise - absolutely great food (fries - actually invented here and not France, waffles, and chocolates - YUM). The car ride through Germany was a great experience in terms of traveling through small towns and enjoying the true countryside. The people were friendly and the places around the Rhine river was just breathtaking. Like someone once said, it was beautiful to take the road less traveled - to wander, to slow down and enjoy the moments.

This past month we went down to Lake Tahoe and Kochu for the first time tried his hand (or should I say leg) at skiing. He took to it like fish to water. Enjoying going downhill and playing with his cousins and friends we made most out of the snow. Halloween, Diwali, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year celebrations had it's own style and fun. The boys dressed up as Captain America and Iron Man for Halloween while for Diwali they blew phuljharies and lit diyas outside the house. We did many day trips around the bay area and enjoyed all the holidays.

As the new year starts, new things are beginning to shape up; just as old things keep us strong. Kochu starts back on swimming and basketball lessons. He is learning chess and wants to enroll into piano as well. I have take a new job and Kunju should soon start at daycare. No idea how my writing will shape up ... but we'll give it a shot.

Saying the wrong things

At Kochunni’s pre-school the teachers started a reading challenge some months ago. Every time the kids read a book they got a little magnet to take home and put on the poster. The idea is to encourage kids and give them the magnet as motivation to get through the 15 or so books. As you can imagine these are just simple books about a few pages long that help kids start to blend, rhyme and read.

A while back, Kochunni finished all the 15 books and gladly posted all the magnets on the fridge (he insisted that he wanted to get all of them before he put up anything) and that’s when we noticed that he had received two same magnets and was missing one. I told him that we take one of the similar ones to school tomorrow and exchange it for the one he was missing.

The next day when I went to pick him up I took the additional magnet and took it to the teacher. Now I might add, the teachers are usually still with other kids and the policy of the school is that if you want to chat with teachers you set up an appointment. So usually we just smile and say our goodbyes unless something has occurred like a child fell and bruised himself/herself or did not take nap or something.

So I went up to the teacher and mentioned the issue with the magnets and she started to check her cupboard to see if she had the missing magnet to give it to me. Kochunni was eagerly waiting alongside to get the same. Unfortunately she did not seem to have the one that we were missing so she asked that we check back later. Kochunni said ok and started to walk towards the door; and I was about to do the same, when the teacher said –I have to say something, today he said to a girl “I will ask my mom to kill your mom” and girl started to cry. We talked to him about it, but wondering were he got these ideas. Does he watch much television?

To say I was shocked would be like saying it rained today. I was blown over!

I told her, “no not really we only let him watch some TV over weekends which is still the kids stuff on PBS. She continued, “Its ok, he is just becoming mischievous these days, if you could also talk to him about it.” I said I sure will and looked up at Kochunni who was standing a few feet away near the door.

As I stepped out of the class, I asked him, what exactly did you do today to hear his side of the story. He immediately pouted and said he said what his teacher said he did. I asked him why that was the case and isn’t it a bad thing to say? We continued the discussion on the car ride back home. All the while he would cry at times or pout or at times try to defend himself by saying how she (the girl) would not play with him. I would try to counter each his arguments from pointing out his mistakes and telling him how “not playing” at a certain time did not warrant such a remark from him.

In my head, I had thousands of questions and not many answers.

As I was reaching home I decided that he needed to at least acknowledge his mistake clearly so I told him that he will need to write an “I am sorry” note and take it back to his teacher the next day. When he was afraid he couldn’t do it all by himself, I told him I would help him with the spelling and that it important for forgiveness to happen. I told him that I still loved him but that I am a little sad by what he did and expect him to do better next time.

As we turned to our lane, he cried once again that now even his Ammamma will be angry with him so I promised that I will not bring this up with his grandma, as long as he promises to never do or say something like this ever again. He nodded his head solemnly at me. Upon reaching home he rushed to have his snack and when I asked him about the note he was ready to write without a whine. He asked me again on how to give the letter and if that he could paint on the other side of the letter. I told him that I would bring it to school and it’s ok if there is no picture as this is note and not a birthday card. The next day I shared the note with his teacher. She mentioned that it was totally not necessary and smiled at me. She confirmed that there were no episodes that day.

The incident is over and a few weeks have passed. But I still question myself not only on my actions but also if this would be the last of its nature. Kochunni definitely has a temper but he is a good kid too. He possibly could have meant to say something completely different and went on to say the wrong thing or could be testing the boundaries, but I guess only time will tell if these digressions will occur again. All I can hope for is to continuing to teaching him good from bad and have the sense of mind to say/do the right thing at the appropriate time. Its at times like these that I realize the being a parent is a very hard responsibility, there are no magic answers and only time will tell if I handled the situation appropriately or not.

And off he goes ....

Walking!!!

Kunju has been trying to walk for a couple of weeks now but yesterday he seemed to be more sure of himself and took many steps together. He still prefers to go on all fours when he wants to reach something quickly but he is definitely more sure of himself as he take steps towards us.

With his Ammamma and Muthu around he seems to be learning new tricks everyday from giving us High-fives, to knowing where the trash goes to switch on the lights and open garage doors for us in the morning. His antics seems never-ending. Every day he wants to listen to "Paatu" (songs) on the large TV (TV is connected to player that streams Pandora music) - so much that he knows the order in which we turn the gadgets on. He will give us the TV remote first and then the DVD remote. His vocabulary is still limited to "Amma", "Acta" (dad), "Ettan" (brother) and Paattu. But he converses with us greatly by pointing to things and tweaking his tone of voice - questioningly at time to more urgently when he wants things to be done his way.

Kunju is becoming more assertive (read screaming mad) at times when Kochu grabs the toys from his tiny fingers. If that doesn't help he looks at one of the adults and cries out hoping that one of us might admonish Kochu. We are trying to instill upon both brothers that they need to share the toys and yet at the same time take turns when they play with one, though its a lot more tougher when you a baby who doesn't understand the concept. Of course, he loves his big brother. Any time he gets he is hugging, kissing (read drooling over him), laughing out loud with his brother. If left alone, he loves to pull things out - our hairs, the kitchen drawers, the books from the bookshelf, anything he can lay his hands on. Nothing according to this 13 month old should be in its place but rather on the ground or more ideally in his mouth.

He eyes our food like a hawk and any chance he gets loves to try them out and goes at it with relish that one would think he was starving up until that very moment. But the cutest thing he does these days is when we asks him where is Kunju is, he uses his little index finger to point at himself and smiling brightly at us.



Here's to you my baby, keep smiling, keep laughing.

Kunju's affairs

Kunju has been keeping a pretty low profile on the blog, though that is not the case at home. He is a very vibrant kid, though being in awe of his big brother he seems much more laid back.

It's now 9+ months since he joined us and as Kochu's euphoria has died down he can't seem to wait for Kunju to join the fun. He still wants to help though he wants to keep touching the baby much more. But Kunju's personality sometimes shines through as he starts to yell when his big brother keeps tugging his arm. Of course, the moment I separate the two and big brother walks away in a huff, the little cheek follows him leaving me wide eyed!!! The bond of brothers and all that ... I guess. But I am getting ahead of myself. Since last year turned out to be very less time on bogging and the poor fella did not seem to get a fair share, I decided to pen all my memories of the last 4 months down.

After his Choroonu Kunju started on rice cereal and post 6-month checkup gone on to some carrots, avocados, peas and bananas. He eats them with relish though seems to show what he doesn't like just as easily. His motor skills are much advanced especially when we compare him to his brother as he already starting to stand up and even taking a few steps along the sofa. Its probably the fact that there is an older child in the house that makes him want to explore faster.

He loves to babble and a few words shine through like the constant "Amma" or "yee-tha" for ettan (older brother). Sometimes when we spend hours talking about his nose or book, he seems to repeat it back to us. He loves listening to my bad singing with an all knowing smile that makes me want to cuddle him some more. If we play one of the jazzy Bollywood song he starts to shake his butt to the tune and sometimes come running to me expecting me to hold him and dance. A true music lover!

He pretends to know more about the TV remote than we do and expects every time he picks it up; the TV will turn on automatically turning his head constantly towards it. Of course with an older brother at home it is much harder for us to keep the TV out of his life, though we have managed it to some extent.

Sometimes on weekends, he seems to forget that everyone is home and every time he sees a new person he acts surprised and runs to them like he missed them for ever. It works like a charm on the people, enough for us to pick him up and now carry him around everywhere.

The two boys are truly an entertaining pair and in some ways I can't wait to see them grow up together - playing, fighting, loving each other and at the same time I want it to go real slow - for me to cherish the baby-ness of my little one.

Bringing the Yummy Back!

Kochu started at his new school in August and the first few days it was, well interesting for all of us. For Kochu he was meeting new kids, learning new songs and getting adjusted to early mornings while for us it was getting used to the new schedule. But one thing was easy - planning his lunch.

We bought a Buzz light-year lunchbox and send rice - red rice (beetroot) or green (spinach) or some macaroni and cheese. He came back home well fed and happy. Of course, good things do not last and slowly but surely food came back untouched. Every morning I would ask him want he wanted - sandwich, macoroni, rice ... and I would send him that, reminding him multiple times about finishing his lunch. But most days he would have eaten only a few bites. I would be upset and ask him about it, but no viable answer.

Then I decided a different tactic - If you eat lunch, you get a treat. That worked for two days and then it went back to "Amma I ate the whole thing" and when I would check he would have eaten only a few bites, but of course he would still expect a treat. When I would not given in to the bargain, there would a temper tantrum.

I was told sending a different food might work, something special so to speak. The drawback I soon found was that he wanted the same thing every day, which was ok with me except that, by the 3rd and 4th day the portion of food sent versus eaten got bigger and bigger.

As my options dwindled I am left with just a slimmer of hope for the best and preparing for the worst. I have ended with carrying a cheese stick or yogurt or some cheerios and chips for Kochu with me to be eaten on our way back home!

Anyone have any super cool ideas to ensure a well fed toddler let me know ...

Titbits from the toddler

- Kochunni pastime these days is to drop the P words at any opportunity he gets. His fascination with the words might seem uncharacteristic to most, but a few moms seem to relate. Like my cousin whose kid loved to make 'fart' sounds at the most (in)appropriate moments. Kochunni hasn't figured that out yet but he loves to sing nursery rhymes, film songs etc to the tune but with the words substituted to that of poop and pee. It is often funny to listen to the 'special words', but my worst fear currently is that Kunju's first words would be "appi/muthram" (poop/pee).


- We visited our friends house some weeks ago and as we were leaving the adults were having some last minute conversation. I strapped the boys in the car seat and joined the conversation. About a minute later my friend walked over to the car and started to talk to Kochunni. Couple of minutes later, I hear cries from him. As I walked back to the car thinking he was probably bored sitting inside, my friend tells me the real reason he was upset. Apparently, she told him let Grandma stay with me and he answered "But grandma cooks for me, she has to come with me" He knows everyone's role so well. Of course I step into the kitchen only to pass through it.

One, Two Maybe

With my parents in town, there was a debate on where Kunju’s choroonu should occur. The plan was for all of us to go to India in Nov/Dec and do his choroonu in India. But that could not materialize as we were pretty laid back with applying for the necessary paperwork for travel (as usual). So after much debate we decided to do his choroonu here in US. So my mother-in-law joined us for the big event.

Once the decision was made, the debate moved to choosing the temple versus doing it at home. We decided to do the function at Livermore temple and set the date for 22nd September. As we started getting ready we started the usual comparison of what happens (only) in India and what happens here. Talking to a couple of priests we realized that in different regions of India there are big pujas that are done, the food given to the infant was also different. So to avoid major confusions we asked around the temple to see if they had any priest that knows Malayalam and in turn was aware of how we do our choroonu. We were in luck and we booked the 10 AM slot with him.

According to traditions, the first time that the infant is given food one needs to ensure the entire palette of flavors is available to him from sweet to spicy, salty to tangy and everything in between. To ensure this a sadya is given with a minimum of 4 curries, rice and payasam as sweet. Of course the infant is not really ready for solids so in reality it only means that the father of the infant touches each of the different foods/curries with his finger and mix (and mashes) it with a very tiny portion of rice to give it to the baby. The rest of the family gives a drop of payasam.

Last time around, everything was taken care of by the temple and all we had to do was to show up at the appropriate time for the ceremony. This time though we had to prepare the sadya ourselves and even carry some puja items. So the day before we bought a bunch of items for the puja (betal leaves, flowers, haldi-kumkum etc) and early next morning prepared the sadya. We used Kochu’s little lunch boxes to take a little bit of everything to the temple. In between the preparations we all got ready to get to the temple a little early.

When we reached the temple the priest suggested my dad to get some plantain leaves from the back of the temple to use that for placing all the foods. He then proceeded to do puja calling on all the deities to bless Kunju. The nice touch was that the place we were seated was in front of Radha-Krishna mandap and as my mom pointed out it was a perfect setting to imagine ourselves to be in front of Lord Guruvayoorappan.

Kunju sat on my lap as the puja proceeded and throughout he was quiet and happy. He even seemed to enjoy the few morsels of rice and curries. And then came the turn of everyone to give him payasam which he seemed devour. Right after, he started to cry and within minutes was fast asleep in my arms. We gave the priest the dakshina and cleared the areas and then proceeded to seek blessings of the different deities and have prasadam. A little later we headed home for our own sadya.

Though the event was widely different from Kochu’s Choroonu which seemed to have been a fleeting moment, this was an hour long affair. We were able to take lots of pictures as long as we avoided the deity in the shot. And thus our little baby stepped into adulthood.

The new school

Kochu went to the BIG school today!!!!

His time at the local Montessori daycare/school ended a month or so ago. He did not realize the significance of it on that day. Though his teachers gave him a hug and we talked about coming back to visit etc he just gave the widest smile and said the usual byes not realizing that it was an end of chapter. I was a sad - we were saying goodbye to the school that helped him with potty trainings and taught him to read his first words. His teachers have had a positive influence on him. Of course in a couple of years he would forget them but for posterity sake ....

Ms. Lupe was a teacher, who always had a grandma like attitude to things - smiling, all forgiving, handing out gifts for the smallest of small things to big events like birthdays and everything in between. She made sure the kids played well was and truly was a great first teacher for the little ones. She helped ease the pain of parting for us and especially potty training.

Ms. S was his next teacher who helped him acquire reading and math skills - addition and subtraction, writing down his name, and reading skills. She helped with his social skills as he learned to speak English at school & nurtured him in to a social kid, helping him make many good friends - Elijah, Nathaniel, Derek, Anya along the way.

After a month off, Kochu started his Pre-K at the big school today. Kochu is still a baby to us and in this school alongside the 8th Grade kids he seems totally out of place, and yet we are all exited about going to the new school.

We prepared him as much as possible as we shopped for lunch bags and clothes. I even took him to meet his new teacher Ms. V at orientation. When I told him his new class will have 23 other kids whom by next year would be his friends that he could invite for his birthday party he was thrilled. Today morning, Kochu was ready, he did not cry or show any concerns as I helped him get ready in the morning.

The bigger challenger now will be adhering to the new rule of going to bed at 8.30 PM and getting ready by 8.00 AM in the mornings!! Go ahead, if anyone still reads this space, give me some tips on quick-n-easy lunch box ideas and how to get a toddler ready quickly without growing any more gray hair in the process ....

*Image courtesy Google search

Happy Birthday Big Boy

As superheros becomes part of your car and truck collections, as you become a little taller, as you turn from a toddler into a BIG boy, I wish you the very best.

Kochunni still has the charms that can steal my heart, the smile that lights up his eyes, and when he knows he has been naughty that very smile turns into a giggle that puts a twinkle in his eyes. Even though he loves to play in his imaginary world he cannot be a second alone in a room and much rather play where every one else is; though if he notices one of us watching him he gets very upset. TV and videos have a grand appeal, but a good book can keep him occupied for sometime too. He is still shy among strangers, but he seems to make friends with kids at the park very easily (which I hope will come in handy next month as he goes to the new school). He is often lazy and lacking in patience (like me, says Amma). But still when the mood strikes, he is a great helper.

Kochu has taken on the role of brother with perfect ease (kala tikka). He sings to the baby and scolds his Ammamma when the baby is crying asking her to take the baby immediately to me to be fed. And even though sometimes he tries to play with him by pulling his arms or patting his nose a little roughly, there is no doubt in my mind that he loves him unconditionally.

We ended up with two birthday parties, one for family and friends at the local Pump-it up and another one at his daycare/school. Kochunni was particular about superhero cakes to order (Transformers and Iron Man) and enjoyed all the attention showered on him. He kept telling anyone who would listen that he was a 4 year old "BIG" boy. :)

Here's to you my dear 4 year old. Wish you the best Birthday today and always.

*image courtesy Google search

Transitions

It's my last week of leave. As usual, 3 months flew by quickly and it feels like there was not enough time to spend with the baby.

My heart very openly desires more time, so much so that I secretly wish for some sort of a lottery ticket that would help us financially just enough that I could maybe work part time or not at all for a few extra months. On the other hand, I have to be thankful for many things that is definitely going to help me go back to work with peace of mind. My parents have extended their stay till end of year, which means Kunju can stay at home with them, my boss has agreed to let me work from home couple of hours each day which is a huge relief. It hopefully reduces the number of bottle feedings and in turn pumping and storing issues of breast milk.

Unfortunately, Kunju is yet to learn the fine art of bottle feeding. The blame lies on me, as I started the transition training just couple of days ago. Though we had been warned by his pediatrician to start training at least 2-3 weeks in advance, I did not want to give up the special time with him. It is peculiar how the heart and mind wants to extend the ties when you know time is limited. Where I on one hand waited until the last week of leave to start the training, a stay at home mom has bottle trained her baby at 2 months of age.

As another ball gets added into my role of juggler, I am thankful for having such wonderful parents who are ready to help us out and sad to know that some of time will be divided at work. It also makes me realize that the little stay-cation that was the last few months - random mid-week picnics, late night movies, day trips around the Bay area, shopping and spending tons of time with the family - was indeed the best vacation ever!

A little secret

Some secrets in life you can learn from watching babies.

Kunju might still be learning the ways of the world, but he can easily teach you a thing or two about living life. He always goes to sleep with a smile on his face and wakes up with another one. He amazingly watches people's face and gives them the widest possible smile that can melt even a rock. Whenever I watch these two gestures, it reminds me how easy it is for a person to steal your heart and make their day.

It reminds me of Krishna - the child with the infectious
smile who could melt Yashoda's heart after being caught eating curds, the youth with a loving smile who could make Gopikas dance in merry, and the knowing smile with which He answered Partha's questions.

Smile is a universal gesture that needs no learning. It needs no language to be understood. It has no boundaries and it will forever remain a youthful symbol of love, happiness and joy.

As one gets older, the act of smiling becomes more of an effort. One can think of a million reasons why its just plain hard to give a genuine smile, but when you look at the baby they make it so easy. After all, isn't life made up of these tiny moments, the fleeting second that is gone before you know it existed?

So smile in your sleep and you will have pleasant dreams, smile when you meet a person and you can make their day and look good in the process, and most of all smile when it gets difficult for Krishna is always with you. All one needs is to look inwards and see Him. Smile and spread love for He is not going to give you anything you cannot handle nor is He going to ever desert you.

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile. ~Author Unknown

It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart. ~Author Unknown

*image courtesy Google search

I want ...

About four days ago, Kochunni asked me for a car - to be specific a "Dinoco car" from the Cars movie. This was not the first thing he asked us for. There have been other things before - like the time at the shop when he asked for a toy car or when he told me his friends have a "big Iron man" and he would like to have one too. If we are out shopping, I would tell him that we came to the shop to buy something else not his toy and he would understand, or if we are at home I would tell him to pick up another car from the already overflowing collection. But this time it was different.

He never once relented. Every couple of hours he would ask, so when are we going to the shop to buy the car? So much so, that it was the first thing he asked me the next morning, 'Can we go to the shop today?' and then again on our way back from daycare, "Are we going now to the shop?" Two days of continuous questions. There was a couple of tears that followed, a little drama around "You are not buying it" but mostly the questions were it. The fact that he pursued it for two continuous days were most amazing to me.

My mind was in turmoil. The car probably would not cost much and I would have the pleasure of seeing his bright smile, at his wish being fulfilled; but a nagging thought persisted about teaching him values, about learning the difference between needs and wants. I talked to him, on how I cannot get all the cars his heart desires, Amma knows no magic I said. But he persisted, I have been a good boy he duly noted. Of course you have, but we are not shopping right now. I will think about it. After all you have so many similar cars, even McQueen the main car. But I don't have The King. I don't want Chick Hicks - he is the bad car, just Dinoco. And so it went. Little pep talks that followed his questions. But he persisted, in his little way.

In the end, I did buy him the car and I got to see his lovely smile. Later, he showed it off to everyone at home, even little Kunju and promised to share when he grew up.

This surely is not the last episode of a little desire that his heart will have but the first one that he pursued. I might not have done the right thing by buying the car, it might come to haunt me when he insists on the next toy. Then again, hard lessons take time to learn. I need to learn them too - on when he needs a little indulgence and when I need to draw the line. It's a hard road for both of us, but the road must be taken. So when the next 'want' comes along I will need to be better prepared for the both of us. Good luck to both of us.

*Image courtesy Google search

28 Days

The naming ceremony is the first major celebration in a child's life. In our community, traditionally this ceremony is performed at six months along with the Choroonu ceremony, but somewhere along the way 28th day or the one month mark caught fancy. Often until this day the baby is kept inside the house. I have heard that some other days like the 6th day, 10th day are also used by other communities to perform the naming ceremony. Last time with Kochunni, when we had asked around, we found out there were priests at the local Hindu temple who were ready to perform the ceremony at the temple or at our house for a fee. But even then we opted for the small simple affair at home.

Of course being in US means that one has to decide the name and provide the details by the 3rd day of the newborn's life to ensure birth certificates and other paperwork are completed in a timely manner. But still the "naam-karan" ceremony marks an important aspect of a child's life. Just like with Kochunni to maintain some semblance of an old, forgotten way of life we tried our best to not use the chosen name until the auspicious day. This time around though it was slightly more difficult with a 3 year old around. We had to ensure that Kochunni used the pet name or referred to his sibling as the 'baby' until this day.


Now the ceremony itself is a simple affair. We bathed and dressed the baby in traditional mundu (yellowish white cloth tied around the waist). Traditional lamps were lit in front of the alter and flowers were placed. The baby sat on his father's lap and after a little prayer he whispered his name into the baby's right ear three times for the very first time. Next, the rest of the family did the same. My mom tied a black chord around his waist along with some kajal to his eyes and cheek to ward of the evil eye. We prepared a small sadya in honor of the event and of course had a grand photo session during and after the small affair to commemorate the event.

And thus K-baby had received his name, Kunju.


The first picture is of Kochunni, while the second is Kunju. Yes, it seems baldness runs in the husband's family! :)

Little bundle of joy!

Happy Vishu!

New year came with a bang in our house with the arrival of little baby boy. Unlike Kochunni who was late and kept us waiting for weeks on end, this guy ended up being early. At 6 lbs and 3 oz, 20 inches long he is our little Vishukaineetum, being born on April 15th.

This wonderful tax-deduction was pleasantly welcomed by Kochunni. He has become my little helper - helping me during diaper changes and feeding times. The little guy for his part does his part well - sleeping, crying, eating. Of course, tiredness, sleeplessness is part of the package. But with a great family to help out its been a crazy, wonderful, busy first week.

The last weeks ...

Towards the end of the “being pregnant” stage of life. This is likely to be my last which means in a way it’s truly the last few weeks of eating what I want (ok mom/husband pretend you did not read this), of baby kicks, of being round and proud of it. It’s end of a chapter and of course it will begin a new more challenging and hopefully a fulfilling one.

In a way I can't wait to meet the little angel, and at times I worry about all the things that I have still to do. With Kochunni I seemed to have been more prepared. This time around I have a ton of stuff that I just need to sort through, though a few things are pending - shopping for some more outfits, laundry, decorating the crib. It will be a busy week before the baby arrives as I take time off from work, but hopefully I can get some much needed rest as well.

On another front, Kochunni now sleeps on his very own bunk bed and though still prefers to calls either his Achan or I to bed when he wakes up at night, he is officially a big boy (Anti-Jinx). The arrival of the baby, the need for Amma to be at the hospital for a few days, setting his expectation that the baby will not immediately play with him but probably just sleep and cry for most of the day has been part of the last few conversations with Kochunni. Some library books about baby's arrival have become regular bed time reads. Now how much of the ideas have sunk in, only time will tell. Laugh if you might, but to keep the transition as smooth as possible, at a suggestion of friend, I also bought a couple of gifts for Kochunni that the 'baby' will give his big brother, when they meet! (ok its pathetic, I know!)

The wait is almost over, the meeting inevitable, by my next post Kochunni will be older brother, I will be a 2nd time mom and yet rest is still unwritten .....

The stick figures

As I read UTBT's post a few days ago about the stages of growth in a kids speech, art, music – their development; I lamented about Kochunni still in the scribbles phase. Of course he was coloring (inside the lines even, mostly) on the coloring sheets he was given, but drawing on his own was still scribbles – just lines going all over the white board or paper. He would claim it was the fish, the lion or whatever his fancy was at that moment, and I would agree that it was nice. Sometimes he would ask me to draw and I would draw a car, the sun, the jeep, or even the birds for him, hoping eventually he will get the hang of things. Today that milestone happened.

Kochunni was at home today, and since I was working I asked him about going out for a walk – maybe ride the bike to spend some time and energy. It was sunny but still cold, so I bundled him up. But then Ammamma (grandma) and Muthu (grandpa) were not ready yet. So I asked him to wait for them. As he walked by the white board, he picked up the red colored pen lying on the shelf and started to draw. First a circle and then two lines out and then two dots. He turned around and claimed it was Achan (daddy). Mom and I had a wide grin as we realized he just scribbled his first stick figure. So we encouraged him. He went on to draw himself and then went back to draw some “meesha” (mustache) for his dad. When I asked him where I am, he set out to draw me – and, this is a big thing, he drew the baby inside me. Now of course, some of our hands might be coming out of the head and there are just two strands of hair everyone is sprouting, and I seem to have a blob of hair on top of my head – but eh the family picture is drawn. Here it is, right to left - Achan (daddy), himself and then me with the baby.



After he came back from his walk he wanted to draw again, so after I took a snap he cleaned the white board. This time around instead of the family came the crow eating lunch on a tree, with water flowing beneath for the crow to have a drink after lunch. The drawing is still present on the white board with strict instructions to all of us to not erase it – not even when he is sleeping. He wants this to be a surprise for daddy when he comes home from work. For now, he is back to playing with his toy trains but I wanted to record his first works of art for posterity sake.


I guess I should have been patient, but that is an area that I still need to develop - we parents are always in a rush. I think back to Kochunni's first year and how many of his milestones just seemed to happen when the time was right and this time again he did it. I am not sure if this was a coincidence or some superior power working His magic, in some ways telling me not to rush things but let them be, to provide the space for the little one to grow and grow-up he shall and when I look back to this day - it would all seemed to have gone through all too very quickly!

Indoor activities

Winter days are a challenge when you have a toddler at home. Over time though 'we' have up with some little ideas to spend a few hours of fun together. I say 'we' because some of these are things that Kochunni has helped carve along the way.

• Role Playing – Kochunni becomes the teacher, while we become his students. Of course it’s a good way to get Kochunni to talk about his activities at school and listen to him sing new songs. A win-win situation for everyone. Sometimes another good game is to play with the doctor set. Kochunni usually recalls all the process from the last doctor visit even asking us to breathe in & out as he checks us out with his stethoscope.


• Little Helper – Some days when Kochunni is in a good mood he turns out be really good helper. We make him sit on the platform and I let him wash the vegetables or the rice. When we make some chappati he sits on the other end dishing out instructions on how big and fluffy it will and should get. Sometimes he plays with the dough and even ends up making a small chappati for himself


• Riding the bike – This is something my mom came up with - when the days are rather cold, we park the cars outside and let Kochunni ride the bike in the garage – he runs in circles and sometimes makes his Ammamma (grandma) run after him. Though heaven forbid she should ever catch him!


• Scavenger hunt – Another hit at the house is the box of scavenger hunt cards that I bought as a return gift for Kochunni’s first year party and I had one left over. When I opened it when he was still 2 and ½ all he wanted was to play (read bend) the cards so I had to put them away. But recently it has become a fun activity. Some of the items are so easy to understand that he doesn’t need my help to pick a red colored object or a shoe, while others I just need to read the card out to him. He is also the judge of what rest of the family picks out and though I try to sway his opinion in the right direction he often has the final word on who got all the correct items.


• Misc - Music masti is also a fun way to get the little guy to shake his butt. Sometimes making him tell a story is a great way to see how his mind works. Another easy activity is painting especially finger painting or stamping.
  

With all of these one thing that stands out is the fact that Kochunni gets distracted very easily. Within a few minutes of the game (max about 15 minutes) he decides he is done with the game even if we are only through the middle of it. I do hope this attitude changes in due course. This is another reason that most common games like Memory or Candy Land only last through one game, and that too after weeks of inactivity.

So what about you guys - how do you get your toddler to have fun during sometimes deary days of winter?

X-Mas Time!

Christmas weekend resulted in a trip to Dallas and spending time with family and friends. Kochunni was anxious this year to get "shoes that light up" from Santa, though luckily he did not seem to care that we will not be at our home for Santa to come. We made sure to buy the shoes and took it with us to Dallas. Rest of the christmas shopping this year turned out to be easy with online shopping.

Christmas eve had bright snowflakes hitting the ground that by evening turned the whole area into a white Christmas. After some nice dinner we put the kids to sleep and packed up all the gifts and put them under the tree. The older kids woke up early and woke up Kochunni asking him to come check out the treasures that Santa had left behind. Everyone got what they had wished for and then some more. It turned out to be a great day to stay indoors, eat wonderful food and watch a movie. This weekend seemed like the back-to-back movie outing that started out with 3 Idiots at the theater, Wake up Sid, Whats your Rashee and all the home movies.

We also went on a photo session for the kids and as it turns out my son is a teenager already when it comes to photo sessions – he wouldn’t look when asked to, no smiles and make absurd faces that practically made half of the photos useless. But we managed and bought a whole slew of pictures that now I need to figure where to hang them.

In all, a great Christmas weekend.

Merry Christmas!

Miracle of life

Part two

Climate can have an important affect on your feelings, there is no doubt about it. When it’s hot, really hot, you are tired but sleeping or lying down is not an option so its irritating. When it’s cold and rainy you would rather curl up in bed and lament about not being able to go outside. One interesting part of living out here in United States is our introduction to new climates like Fall. The change of colors in August, September on the leaves is so prominent that its usually makes up for the arrival of the chilly winters. But the best time is Spring – the onset of summer, the flowers blooming in vibrant colors, Holi (my all-time favorite festival) and so much more. Today I am looking forward to this wonderful time of year even more as we are expecting a little addition to our family. :D

Ok there I said it, nothing cool about it, you say – but after Upsi’s cute work of art, and months of trying to top it – I have realized I am just not that cool to even come close. There is another more personal reason for not going all out too actually, but that will be another post.

How is Kochunni dealing with the news? Well, he seems exited. Talks about baby being hungry, when he is hungry and when I eat, he tells me that the baby is happy and is thanking him. When I told him that the baby will call him “ettan” (elder brother), he was visibly upset since “Is that my name? Why would the baby call me that?” I had to explain that ettan is just a word like Amma (mom), but it took a while for him to accept.

Other household activities are going on as usual, but as I am feeling the little kicks, the excitement mounts. So folks, go take a break, have a drink and be merry!

Updates from Kochunni's daycare

Its been a little more than a year since Kochunni started his new daycare, a Montessori school. Lots have changed from the first time we dropped him off at his original daycare - he doesn't cry and is happy with an 8 hour school. He has definitely learned many things from alphabets, numbers, and songs to even writing and recognizing them. Though for some reason, he doesn't share the details with us too much. We have to pry out the information by asking a million questions and even then, he would rarely sing the songs or tell us about the games they play. Sometimes though he unknowingly provides us information - like when he tells his grandma that switching on the lights in the house is his "job", a concept of Montessori schools where every activity is often defined as a job.

He has made friends and often talks about whom he likes or doesn't. His teachers tell me that he sometimes even looks out for his friends - like when his friend hasn't eaten, he calls out to the teacher letting her know that his friend would like something else instead. Of course there is peer pressure and these days he is asking for things his friends have or bring to school. This Christmas he wants to have shoes that have lights in them so that they will glow just like his friend. His friends have also introduced him to the world of super-heroes - from Spider-man to Batman. I am not sure though how much he understands the concept, but he clearly recognizes most brands that we haven't introduced at home.

This August, as promised he moved to the big class (after the 2-week potty training). He even gets to carry a little folder with his school-work everyday. Some days he complains about how heavy it is (and I think about the pile of books that we used to carry), though at the same time he loves to show off his work.

His teachers are really nice and he seems to like each one of them, though if I threaten to send him back to Ms.L's class he tells me how he is no longer the baby and he is in the big kids class.

Overall, the experience has been great. Of course in time he will need to move to a more structured environment, but hopefully that transition will be smoother as now he has been exposed to a whole world of his own, were we parents are merely observers from afar.