In Memory

Dressed in a white, full-sleeve shirt and a mundu I remember my Chachan (maternal grandfather) as a very God fearing, humble, down-to-earth person. For as long as I can remember his mornings were spent in reciting Gita and other prayers, the only break he took was for a half an hour for breakfast and then he would go back to his prayers until afternoon. After his prayers he would offer everyone in the house some Chandanam or flowers. In those days, I found the whole meditation process needless to say boring … I would much rather sleep in, waking up around 10-11 AM and having a late breakfast that my dear ammamma (grandma) would have made. Sometimes when he would be done with his prayers and bring the chandanam, I would still be in my pajamas and he would give me a knowing, mischievous smile (a smile that I see reflected in Kochunni).

Most summer vacations, I spent my time in Bangalore and it was during late evenings that my grandfather had the time to spend with me. He would tell me stories of Krishna’s exploits or books that he had read like The Three Musketeers or we would point out the stars and the planets on a starry night. He had a wealth of knowledge that he was ready to share, never treating me like a baby but would rather discuss matters.

One summer afternoon I remember our trip to watch the movie Durga. After the movie was over and everyone was discussing its merits, my grandfather mentioned he was disappointed with it and when pressed further he said, "I assumed the movie was about Goddess Durga, and not the standard run-of-the-mill affairs". We must have told the above story umpteenth times to family and friends and had a hearty laugh, but today when that man passed away I regret not realizing his innocence and his unshakable faith of God. I never recall him preaching his faith or his way of life to anyone - not to me or to any of his 5 kids but he seemed to have a firm belief in Lord Guruvayoorappan; so much so that even at age 90 he was ready to make a trip to Kerala for His darshan. He was always ready, willing and able to take on any challenge that life would throw at him.

When I was back in Bombay, he would tell me to write him letters describing in detail my school trips and other mundane activities. He would always respond with warmth and insight in the next correspondence. In a way, he instilled in me a love for writing.

A few years ago, he had been very sick and was at the hospital. I myself being here only had conversations with my mom about his health and battle to survive. At that time the memory of my gradma passing was still quite fresh - I had seen her last at my own wedding and was never able to a say a proper goodbye. I could only pray and hope that he survived, and for some unknown reason I was drawn to a picture of myself, my Ammamma (grandma) and chachan(grandfather) from my younger days. I looked straight at Ammamma and asked her to be patient and somehow make my dear chachan live on, and that I was not ready to let go just yet. And he did live on to see me and later my son and even learn about my second pregnancy.

This lovely, wonderful person passed away last April. I firmly believe that he joined my ammamma (grandma) in Heaven and they are now looking down on us happy and content that they are finally together -- forever. I do regret that he did not get a chance to meet Kunju, but one of the unexplainable little things, Kunju was born exactly 13 days after his passing.

This year as Kunju’s birthday approaches I remember those wonderful evenings of stories, those mornings waking up to a loud, distinct voice reciting the Sanskrit hymns, the wonderful man I knew as my Chachan. Love you, forever!!!!

Happy Birthday Big Boy

As superheros becomes part of your car and truck collections, as you become a little taller, as you turn from a toddler into a BIG boy, I wish you the very best.

Kochunni still has the charms that can steal my heart, the smile that lights up his eyes, and when he knows he has been naughty that very smile turns into a giggle that puts a twinkle in his eyes. Even though he loves to play in his imaginary world he cannot be a second alone in a room and much rather play where every one else is; though if he notices one of us watching him he gets very upset. TV and videos have a grand appeal, but a good book can keep him occupied for sometime too. He is still shy among strangers, but he seems to make friends with kids at the park very easily (which I hope will come in handy next month as he goes to the new school). He is often lazy and lacking in patience (like me, says Amma). But still when the mood strikes, he is a great helper.

Kochu has taken on the role of brother with perfect ease (kala tikka). He sings to the baby and scolds his Ammamma when the baby is crying asking her to take the baby immediately to me to be fed. And even though sometimes he tries to play with him by pulling his arms or patting his nose a little roughly, there is no doubt in my mind that he loves him unconditionally.

We ended up with two birthday parties, one for family and friends at the local Pump-it up and another one at his daycare/school. Kochunni was particular about superhero cakes to order (Transformers and Iron Man) and enjoyed all the attention showered on him. He kept telling anyone who would listen that he was a 4 year old "BIG" boy. :)

Here's to you my dear 4 year old. Wish you the best Birthday today and always.

*image courtesy Google search

A little secret

Some secrets in life you can learn from watching babies.

Kunju might still be learning the ways of the world, but he can easily teach you a thing or two about living life. He always goes to sleep with a smile on his face and wakes up with another one. He amazingly watches people's face and gives them the widest possible smile that can melt even a rock. Whenever I watch these two gestures, it reminds me how easy it is for a person to steal your heart and make their day.

It reminds me of Krishna - the child with the infectious
smile who could melt Yashoda's heart after being caught eating curds, the youth with a loving smile who could make Gopikas dance in merry, and the knowing smile with which He answered Partha's questions.

Smile is a universal gesture that needs no learning. It needs no language to be understood. It has no boundaries and it will forever remain a youthful symbol of love, happiness and joy.

As one gets older, the act of smiling becomes more of an effort. One can think of a million reasons why its just plain hard to give a genuine smile, but when you look at the baby they make it so easy. After all, isn't life made up of these tiny moments, the fleeting second that is gone before you know it existed?

So smile in your sleep and you will have pleasant dreams, smile when you meet a person and you can make their day and look good in the process, and most of all smile when it gets difficult for Krishna is always with you. All one needs is to look inwards and see Him. Smile and spread love for He is not going to give you anything you cannot handle nor is He going to ever desert you.

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile. ~Author Unknown

It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart. ~Author Unknown

*image courtesy Google search

The ties of brotherhood ....

Before Kunju was born I wrote a post about changing family dynamics, about foreseeable fights between siblings. Of course family dynamics have changed - there is a toddler and a baby in the house, which means their needs, their choices are vastly different from each other. But for now the the famous siblings fights are far away. (kala tikka)

Kochu loves his brother - his baby. He helps me when its time for a diaper change, by setting up the table with a new diaper, wipes and butt rash creams. If the baby is crying he tries to sing to the baby and then like a boy that he is, and then runs away cringing his nose if the baby has pooped, yelling YUCK!

Sometimes he talks to the baby, telling him about his day at the daycare and gives strict instructions on not trying to suck his hand and to be a "good" baby. The baby for his part listens avidly and sometimes even responds with a 'ooh' or a 'ah', which in turn makes Kochu super excited. When the baby is lying down with his face away from him, Kochunni insists on one of us turning his head around to ensure that he can always see him.

Yesterday evening one such thing happened that makes this whole parenting gig a wonderful expedition. Being memorial day weekend, we made a trip to Lake Berryessa and Sacramento. We got home quite late in the evening and it seemed like the baby had a temperature. So when we got home, the first thing I did was to check his temp. Now being poked with the little thermometer was not something he liked and he started to cry almost immediately. Kochunni on the other hand ran to his toy chest and picked out his cars and started to play, while rest of the family was getting things from the car and quickly freshening up. After I checked the temperature, I tried to soothe the little guy but nothing was really working. He would stop crying for a bit and then cry again when I would put him down.

After a couple of tries, I put him down and went to get some water in the kitchen. Suddenly I heard the wail again, and I tried to talk to the baby from the kitchen, without going to him and continuing to check the fridge to figure out dinner. A second latter I hear Kochunni talking to the little guy " Endena kariyune? (Why are you crying?) Thermometer eshtaalla? (Don't like the thermometer?) Pani endo nokande. (Have to check fever, right). I put my head out of the kitchen to find Kochunni with his face very close to the baby, while the baby looking into his brothers eyes, as if seeing him for the first time, cries long forgotten.

Of course, Kochu has seen us talking to the baby, of course he himself has done the same thing many times before, but the simple gesture of stopping his own game and doing something without being asked or even told to quieten his little brother's cries was without doubt his own intrinsic nature - the unseen ties of brotherhood taking effect!

Random (cheesy) updates! :)

Finally my genes seeping through ...


A voracious reader in the making - lounging on the chair, covered in my favorite blanket lost in the world of words (so what, if he is just looking at pictures - its the pose that matters!)













I was in for a surprise on Thursday as I picked up my voice mail at my office phone. The receptionist informed me that I had some flowers that I could pick up, and believe me that was out of the blue, so I listened to the message again. As I went down to get the flowers my colleagues teased me about it and I blushed like a new bride. Yes indeed there were flowers waiting for me - a beautiful bouquet of red roses and daisies from my husband and he was thoughtful enough to add Kochunni's and baby's name as well to the card.

Thank you, my dear. This just made my day! X0X0!



Happy Valentine's Day!

Calling all moms

There is a tag that been going around for a while in mom-o-sphere blogs, known by various names - ‘around the world in 80 clicks’, motherhood – why do I love it etc, that grabbed my attention. The reasons were varied and many but a universal theme of love certainly binds these conglomerate of posts together.

Even before Kodi's Mom tagged me for this tag, I was thinking about what would be the five things that I would put down for why I love being a mother. I started to think back to the time when we started talking about parenting and bringing a child into this world. Pregnancy itself was a breeze, though delivery & post delivery was a cyclone of emotions. Now all said and done, I am forever a doting mother to a very rambunctious boy. So what does of the last 2 and half years do I love the most?

1. I love the raw emotion that pulses through every thought, deed or action. The pride in his everyday milestones, the fear when he is sick, the happiness when he gives me a sudden hug or kiss, the sheer joy when he calls “Amma”. Its potent enough that when I return a hug I am scared of hugging him too tight.

2. I love the fact that its helping me become a better human being. I know I am less judgmental of other parents as I know how difficult it is to hear all the advise that pours in and still knowing your child better than any of advice givers to seep through and pick and choose. I am more patient, more careful in everything I say or do, as means of setting an example.

3. I love seeing the connections I see Kochunni building with my parents, the adoration in my parents eyes, Kochunni making 'best friends' with his muthu (muthashan/granddad). The bonding with his cousins, aunts, uncles and all the extended family and friends. It’s a beautiful how Kochunni seems to realize when we are among family and friends and then opens up to them.

4. Even though the momentous decision to have the baby was ours, the right of motherhood, the privilege and the responsibility given to me from the Lord has in turn made me feel more humbler, more closer to His divinity.

5. And lastly I love the fact that I will forever be a mother, and with that I can wear multiple hats – the teacher, the story-teller, the ‘boo-boo go away’ magician, the friend.

Now the rules of the tag
Just write a post of your own (5 things that you love about being a mom/dad) and find someone to link to and tag - someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country (Google is a good resource if you don't know any; Google any country name and 'mom/dad' in their blog search function) (be sure to let them know that you've tagged them!) - and link back here and HBM and leave a comment.

Since this venture was started to connect moms around the world, here's my feeble attempt to make a few new friends, courtesy of this tag. So I tag these folks that I just Googled up, in no particular order -

Pensive Thoughts from Philippines
My Oweini Life from Middle East
From the land of monkeys and princess from Texas (I think)
See the woods and the trees from Ireland
Come, mommy

To Russia, With Love

How cute is this? This guys seems to know Hindi and Russian and can definitely sing a tune.



Original Songs:
Jimmy Aaja


Goro Ki Na Kalo Ki