Roots

Yesterday evening after dinner we sat around in the living room discussing our options – where will be in the next few years (in terms of a place to call home). Why this sudden urge to discuss such bland topics – because ... no idea, I guess we somehow landed on it!

I remember my childhood days very well; Bombay school (sorry it will be Amchi Bombay to me) was in shifts – primary school in the afternoon and secondary early morning. Either way, after school we would rush home, throw our stuff after a little snack or homework we were off to play. Everyone knew everyone else in the neighborhood. This was our ‘adda’ and we were the rulers.

I don’t see if the same would happen for Kochunni – here the neighbors are friendly but not enough to drop by any time of day to borrow some sugar and chat about the daily grind. People don’t meet each other at the 7:27 local and walk back home together talking about this & that. Here everyone is afraid of stepping into someone else’s space and keeps their distance. Yes it definitely has its moments when you don’t have to worry about a neat and tidy house – you know that no one will come unannounced, and of course you don’t want nosy neighbors. But I wish there was a balance.

I would want a ‘settled’ life for Kochunni from at least age 4 onwards – one place to call home where we can all grow old together - a place that he can fondly remember even if he moves out of it - like I do today. But will I know my neighbor, will there be other kids for Kochunni to call upon – or will I need to set up schedules to have a play-date? Will Kochunni have summers where he and his friends can play what they want – cycling down the street, a heated game of cricket, have hard-core fights over why one played better than other and then make up a minute later; and if nothing else just sit around and chat.

Couple of months back when Amma was here, I was discussing something else and realized that life back in India has changed too. Parents are enrolling kids in all sorts of classes for the kids – computers, music, dance, swimming, apart from the regular tuition classes. Its competitive and the wheels are turning, I wonder if I am looking back with rosy tinted glasses and not seeing the full picture – I mean, I took tuitions too during the last years of school. But I can still relate to time spend idly among friends – the incessant chatter that would stop the moment an adult passed by, the parents meeting up for coffee or just sitting by the large garden and chatting.

Buying a house definitely a first step towards staying put, but with both sets of parents still in India and not many family members here, I wonder if this is place to be. Or am I turning more like my dad who always wished to go back to live in his hometown and still continues to do the same! (Dad, if you read this, please know I totally understand how you feel, more today than when I was a kid & crib about not ever leaving Bombay!)

No decisions yet, I don’t know where I will be 2 years from now, but I hope I can reach a resolution by then – at least I think I need to.