21st or 12th Century?

A few days ago I was talking to a friend about some of the shows on Indian television – it seemed like the dark ages showing off the saas-bahu dramas, the pain of a father trying to get his ‘dark’ daughter married off, and of course sad stories about the woman who can do no wrong - who is always in one mess or another because of course the whole world is crooked and she never has the guts to stand up and fight. But my friend made a valid point that in India we are still in the dark ages and some of these are real fears that people have, there are people who ‘understand’ why one needs to get married to the tree before you marry the man you fell in love with or why someone else committed Sati or will only wear a white and not attend a single function because their drunkard husband died of lung failure. “Between art imitating life and life imitating art, we're not getting away from this crap,” she said. Her words stayed with me for a long time after, and I could not help wondering what is that keeping India in the dark ages.

Today I came across this news piece – It seems even during crashing economic times, the Bank of England has found time, and has taken the effort to send memos to their female employees on how to dress. Ridicules “rules” like ‘always wearing heals that are no more than 2 inches’ to a complete ‘NO’ on overstuffed bags are included in this memo. I am not sure how the female staff reacted to this bit of a memo, but indeed what a way to ensure the 21st century progress backwards!

So between the idiot box detailing 12th century ethics and a company laying biased ‘rules’ for just half of their employees, I guess we are definitely not getting away from this crap, any time soon.

Freedom, Our Right

I am wearing this badge (courtesy MayG) – and reminding every reader, every individual that Freedom is our right and let no one take that away, Again!

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This is in response to what many fellow blogger's have already written so eloquently about.

Kinda dumb. Don't You think?

Movies, I admit are one of my weakness. Does this make me any less smart?

Wanna watch a movie where a ‘pharin-returned’ (foreign) hero is so dumb that he keeps his hard-earned cash with him rather than a bank and then goes on lose it all in a fight with the bad guys on a rainy afternoon – watch Maine Pyar Kiya

If you want to watch a couple fall in love with one massive blow out kiss in rain and then never ever communicate with each other, watch Raja Hindustani

If you really craving for some melodrama about a guy only noticing the woman of his dreams – “the Bharitya nari in chiffon saris” watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

For a simple way of life becoming so messy and complicated with one trip down the flight of stairs watch Hum Apake Hai Kaun. Stairs=death, take the elevator always!

So why do I sit and poke holes at some top movies from yesteryear's because of this question that seems to be on everyone’s lips these days – Three not so great plots or stories – Rab De, Ghajini, Chandini Chowk are churning out money like popcorn (haven’t watched either of the above mentioned ones). Time and again, people have spent money and time to sit through movies that have gaping holes in them, to make them ‘blockbuster’ of the year. Does this mean the audience which is You and I, are idiots or better at suspending our rational thought for 3 hours? Pray tell.

To me its personal - I could only watch KKHH once and that too was a pain in ass, because the portrayal and the story of Shahrukh’s character and Kajol (Rahul/Anjali) felt so wrong to me. Clothes maketh a man, but what about personality, compatibility, do they not count in a relationship? I felt so bad on the whole – I mean you could make KKHH part two with Rahul and Anjali’s kid trying to re-unite Anjali and Aman (Salman), because oh Rahul dies on his way to work! Jeez! And what with 8 letters, didn’t she have time to write a few more? On the other hand I can still watch MPK especially the first part for the innocence, the laughter and fun portrayed. On the other hand I could have choked myself to death watching Kabhie Kushi Kabhie Gam – especially every time the song came on, which was like every minute. There have been decent movies too with a plot and a storyline– Lagaan, Rock On, Dil Chahta Hai etc that make movie watching a fun experience. Unfortunately they might not be the biggest blockbusters. On the whole the theater run is scared, movies that don’t get the best reviews are for a DVD rental or TV movie only. That’s just me.

The point, yes there is one, is when you go watch a movie you have the suspend your beliefs, but the distinction is by how much. How much suspension might depend of how much you like the star, how much you ‘want’ to like the movie, how much fun you had while watching the movie and so much more. I don’t think ‘dumb’ movies are restricted to any particular language or country either, it’s what you are exposed to and how the matter is presented that matters. For instance, so many movies portrayed a hero who could beat up bad guys and emerge triumphant at the end, heroes who don’t even looked the part, but Matrix changed the dynamics of the plot/story to actually portray the same by calling it all an illusion, and that worked. This time around, it looks feasible. But certainly not all plots lends to justification of the story or a scene like the 100 year old Harrison Ford surviving a nuclear explosion by sitting inside a refrigerator. WTF!

So go on, have a popcorn, waste the $’s, suspend your beliefs and ENJOY ‘if’ you can or move over the dumb patrol is already on the scene. :D

Burning: Inside/Out

A couple of weeks ago, Tharini of Winkie's way's posted a text challenge - basically offering 6 words that we needed to work into a sentence, it reminded me how years ago when, as part of language exams we were given a word that we had to use in a sentence. This was one of my favorite parts of the exams - for once you could not memorize anything, had to come up with the sentences in the one hour that was given for the exam, apart from doing all the other things that was asked from us to - fill in the blanks, true or false questions etc. I would feel proud when I came up with a clever answer - it was probably not the best, and with around 80 students in the class, I am sure the teacher found lots of clever, wise, touching and amusing ones. But to me, it was a matter of accomplishment.

Two days ago, there was another challenge on Winkie's way, these were the words - 'Remind Prodded Grasped Message Companions' and the rules were to use the words as is and in 18 words or less. This is the sentence that I came up with "Prodded to action by challenge my message companions is of peace, if you have grasped please remind all."

Nothing extraordinary, far better ones have been written, but today morning as I opened up my news box & I read stories of Mumbai under attack. I shuddered, and rang up friends to make sure that they were home safe and sound. Its been 24 hours and still no resolution, and I come back to sentence that I typed up less than 24 hours before - no I am not reading too much into it, but a million questions surge in my heart, all beginning with one word "Why" I have no answer but as my beloved city, the city that I grew up in, the city that taught me so many things, the city that never sleeps, Burns .... all I say is ENOUGH!!

Enough with violence, enough with the bloody politicians who are only good at bashans; either get down from the high pedestal, get out of your bullet proof car or just shut up! And for once, join force with the people and do something about the attacks, spend money on intelligence rather than getting more money in your pocket.

Prayers to each and everyone. My eyes are moist, the places attacked are part of history, part of Mumbai's heart and soul, I feel so helpless, I cannot watch the news no more ...

Are TV shows changing?

Please tell me that they are…. For I do long for a change. When we ordered Direct TV last year I had hoped that watching some good old desi-TV would be a good break from the reality TV shows that now have filled up most of the prime spots on the television. When horrors I realized that the soaps with its regressive values still run the gamut of Indian television! Have you seen the ad for Grihasti – what with the some 7 odd women who have ‘lost their only male support’ Are you kidding me? Reading the news today about the end of the Kyunki saga – brings a little cheer in me. Could it be possible that Indian TV is moving to something more that these oft written lines of “Maa, Bahu, Saas, and the exploitative family members? How can one person be all good and another all evil, has never made sense to me. Add to this the background score of each of these shows - what’s with big drum roll for every turn the eye makes!

Maybe just maybe things will change? At our friends request we watched the show Akkara Kazhchakal on YouTube to realize that better shows could come into existence if only, people cared. The basic premise of the show is to show a Malayalam family living in the US – the daily trials and tribulations that they could face – all with a dose of humor often exaggerated situations but that which anyone who has lived here for a while could relate to. The show is not like a typical soap opera but looks more like a mirrors the daily life - not the dressed up poor bahu and the her saas always eating something.

So here’s hoping for a well deserved change.

So many words, yet so little

There was talk on a radio show that I often listen to on my way to work about Ivana Trump getting married to her boyfriend who is quite a few years younger to her. They kept calling her a “couger”. Now, in reality couger is a mountain lion or panther – a beautiful animal native to the Americas. But here the reference is more of an older woman who preys on younger men. Note the word is even the #1 buzz word according to Time.

This got me thinking how many words we use to describe woman’s exploits and some of it is just not fair ...A married man dating another woman is just a cheat but his girlfriend becomes a mistress, if the situation were reversed the man still doesn’t have an equivalent to the word mistress while the women would be called a b**ch. Again the word is not ugly by itself – it’s just the female of the dog specie – an animal who is loyal and cute; but the connotations it draws in the minds of people is of a hard core woman who will do anything to get what she wants.

Of course, you might argue, that one should love being called a couger for the matter of empowerment and all. I mean here is this reversal of the typical December-May romance. But calling any human being with an animal name is never in my books a good thing? Not that an animal is anyways better or worse than humans, it just doesn’t seem fair to either species. What say you?

(image from: http://weblogs.cltv.com)

With a pinch of salt

Possibly everyone has seen the desi version of the Simpsons but even as I watched it, I couldn’t help think – please don’t go with the stereotypes again! But of course they do – a 3 year old reading a book on arranged marriages (?!?) well I guess she is reading so I should be happy.

It’s not that the video itself is not funny and I am sure if its going to be a full-fledged show it will be funny, but I am so done with the stereotypes. Especially some that has been exploited in media for the millionth time! Here are few that gets my blood boiling

- South Indian “madrasi” – always with “nariyal pani” (coconut water) and bad Hindi, painted forehead, in the traditional white mundu, and faces painted Black (to showcase darker skin tones).
- Only a “woman” – dressed in sari (or some Indian outfit) can get the man of her dreams. Example - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (The character played by Shah Rukh only sees beauty via saries, heavy make-up and soft gestures, it’s the same sub-plot in Main Hoon Na, where the girl transforms herself to win the guy she loves – at least here she chides him before accepting his love.
- Goans – If you want to show a Christian family – then they have to be a Goans, of course the dad has to be a drunk, the mom a devout Christian and the heroine – oh so pretty, in short micro-minis running from goondas straight into the arms of a guy (if its a typical Hindi movie it will be Hindu guy from a rich family of course).

The point is that yes, the stereotype might have a grain of truth in them – Hindi is not the first language for many south Indians so yes, they do have an accent – M sounds more like “Yem” when you hear it from a Malayalee – but why not rejoice in this difference?

Moving beyond India and the Indian movies, its still the same – its a Punjabi cab driver you meet in almost all Hollywood movies and tele serials. Its not just limited to India, no I see we are all given the same treatment – its always the Korean grocer, Martial arts specialists etc. Hollywood seems to have built a fantasy for most countries even – romantic get-a-ways always leads to Paris, anything magical/supernatural is explained as part of Chinese/Japanese mythology. Of course this is boost for tourism for Paris and probably interest in Chinese culture, but the stereotypes are unmistakable.

To me the distinction of a negative and a positive stereotype is not about if its funny than it’s appropriate because what is funny to one may not be for another. It’s like the toddler saying the F word without knowing the meaning. When you see it on the tele, it’s funny but if your child said that you would be embarrassed. Why? Its not like the toddler understands the meaning, might even forget the word in a day, but what bothers you is that YOU understand. You know that’s it’s a word that is considered impolite in society. Same thing here, if you come from that part of the world where the stereotype is coming from than its no longer funny, you understand instinctively what it means.

There are a million stereotypes out there, possibly about every community and society, but my biggest angst is that these stereotypes are taken at face value by people and it gets ingrained into their minds – that becomes a true tragedy!